Have you noticed some people always ask Why Me? I was reading an article about some royalty somewhere—we shall not name names—and noticed that they were complaining about how they were getting attention in the media while appearing for a media interview! Now, these people have everything one could ask for. They were born with a silver spoon in their mouth—literally! I bet a majority of the people in this world would happily swap places with them. Even then, they thought they had this miserable life and anything that went wrong was a direct result of someone else’s action. So today, I want to talk about this victim mindset and how that is detrimental to our health and our progress.
People who have a victim mindset always have this scarcity mindset. They always feel that they have to compete for everything and with everyone. Some people wake up in the morning and are looking for things and others are to blame. That is no way to live a life. Let me tell you an interesting story. About 20 years ago, a good friend of ours was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Once we found out, I would call and talk to him every week just to have a conversation and cheer him up if you will. He was in an amazing state of mind. During one of those conversations, I casually asked if he thought if this had anything to do with the type of place he was working at. What he said was so profound, it stayed with him to date. He said, why not me? Why am I so special that a disease will skip me? He went on to say that he never complained and asked “why me” when things were going great. I had a newfound respect for my friend. You see he accepted life as it came. There was no complaining or looking for blame or anything like that. Not trying to figure out why let alone why me.
People with a victim mindset on the other hand try to blame other people for their own problems. They also tend to feel sorry for themselves. They have a negative attitude about almost every situation they come across. Because of this negativity, they some to attract people with a similar mindset so which creates its own downward spiral. In general, they don’t take responsibility for their actions. People with a victim mindset develop a setup of negative behaviors that are difficult to turn around. For example, they believe their life is somehow harder than everyone else’s and they always are looking for pity. They are pessimistic in nature and are risk-averse. They have this sense of entitlement.
Sometimes politicians are promoting a victim mindset because that is a lot easier than actually solving their problems. It’s always easy to throw money at a problem than to actually solve the problem. If one persists with a victim mindset, they may end up with permanent guilt or even depression. They may become resentful of other people and develop a tendency to thrive on drama.
Good thing there is hope. The best way to help people with a victim mindset is to show the power of generosity. If they begin to practice generosity, their ego will diminish and will allow them to see the bigger picture. Another antidote is gratitude. A gratitude mindset created an abundance mindset which is exactly the opposite of a victim mindset. If they begin to develop a gratitude mindset, eventually they will see the abundance and positivity in their lives. It is not easy to change someone who has developed a victim mindset but with a few months of gratitude practice along with generosity, you will begin to real results.