How do you avoid getting angry at someone when they don’t meet your expectations?

We should all try to practice equanimity. Equanimity means compassion without attachment. If we love our family without any expectations, we will not have expectations and will not get angry. We need to learn to accept what is rather than thinking about what it could be. They say love your kids for who they are and not what you want them to be.

What if you are trying to help someone and they don’t get it that makes you angry? Where does self-cherishing come in this case?

That is a great question. Let’s say for example, you give some money to a homeless person to get some food. They turn around and buy liquor or cigarettes with that money. If that happens you get angry because you think they are not conforming to your values. You have attachment towards the money you just gave them – which arises out of self-cherishing. So in this case even though you are trying to help someone, your anger towards them is due to your self-cherishing.