We all have been through times when nothing seems to go our way. Everything is going in a different direction and it all feels chaotic if you will. Well, the chaos theory states that within the apparent randomness of chaotic complex systems, there are underlying patterns and interconnectedness. So that chaotic situation we find ourselves in actually may have a deeper reason behind it. I know, at the time it sure doesn’t feel like it.
Why do I bring this up? Because often when we find ourselves in a difficult situation we are not able to see the forest for the trees. We are so bogged down in our problem and granted it could be a serious problem—I am not trying to minimize the situation at all. But unless it is a life-and-death situation, it often blows over in time. Some problems take more time to resolve than others.
Here is an exercise I would like you to do within the next few days. Go back to your calendar or emails for 2021. Come up with a list of eventful reflections for each month of the year. For example, when I created my 2021 reflection, everything fit into one page. For each month there was maybe one or two things that were memorable—three at the most. When I was putting that list together, I realized going through the records that there were times I was upset about something and it felt like a really big deal at the time but it did not even make it to my list. So obviously it was not that important in the scheme of things. Once you complete this exercise you will find what is important for you—what you put the most value on. Now, as you come across difficult situations in the new year, try to remember that not everything is going to make your list for the year. So before you get all worked up about something, ask yourself, would it make your own reflection list? If the answer is no, you can just relax.
Have you noticed after all the chaos, things almost always work out? Maybe not exactly the way you wanted but not so bad that you could not carry on. If you were paying attention, you could actually learn a lot from the experience. I have developed a habit of telling myself that things always work out for the best. I may not see it that way at the time, but they do. Now, this does not mean that if you find yourself in a difficult situation you try to do the best you can. Of course, you do. Well, actually there is a value in surrendering yourself but that is a topic for another day.
Another thing is that when you are going through chaos, you begin to appreciate little things in life. You are grateful for what you have. And as we have discussed repeatedly, a gratitude attitude is essential for a happy and fulfilling life. As we all know, the human body and mind are very resilient. There were people in the Nazi concentration camps who found hope in the middle of quite possibly the gloomiest place in human history. If they found hope, our problems are nothing compared to that.
Why does chaos so chaotic? It is quite simple. It feels chaotic because we are not able to see the answer right away. You see, if the answer was right in front of us, it would not feel chaotic at all. So how do we handle this? It takes time for us to see the bigger picture in these scenarios. Once we are able to take some time and reflect on it, we will hopefully see the grand plan. And if you are stumped, ask someone else whose opinion you value. Sometimes all you need is a second set of eyes to get things into perspective. I have often found that it is a matter of change of perspective and it is no longer chaotic.
I hope this resonates with some of you. As you begin the new year, I am sure there will be times that feel chaotic. Please remember this too shall pass.