When you think about our daily problems, they fall into two categories: outer problems and inner problems. If we understand the difference between outer problems and inner problems, we can begin to look at a solution for a peaceful life. Let’s take some examples. Say our car breaks down. Some people get really anxious when their car breaks down – creating an inner problem. This is a result of a strong attachment towards an object. We have so much attachment towards our things that we begin to identify with our possessions. When a car breaks down, it can be fixed by a skilled mechanic. It just needs the right person to fix it. However, when we begin to get unhappy because of the breakdown of the car, no one can fix that. We are the only ones responsible for our inner happiness. If we control our mind and realize that car is an inanimate object. It has no feelings, so it has no problems as such. Yes, it is broken but by itself, it has no problems. It cannot express its disappointment. It is completely an outer problem. On the other hand, if we look at the breaking down of a car objectively, take it to the right shop to get fixed and not let it disturb our inner peace, we will come out ahead.
Let’s take another example of our body which is much closer to ourselves than an external object or a situation. Now, this is going to be uncomfortable for a lot of people because all of our lives, we have identified our body as I. Let’s say we get diagnosed with a disease. Getting a disease or hurting our body is an inner problem most of you will argue. But it is actually our body’s problem. We have this strong attachment to our bodies that makes us think that we are our bodies. We believe our pain comes from our body, but the body cannot feel pain without the mind. The body is also an inanimate object just like our car. You may have heard stories of Indian yogis who let their Doctors perform surgery on them without anesthesia. These yogis do not feel any pain because they have overcome their self-grasping and understand that they are not their body. We, on the other hand, grasp our bodies a little too tight!
If we let that outer problem affect us internally, it affects our happiness creating an inner problem. Our unpleasant feelings are the result of our mind. They are arising out of uncontrolled desires or attachment, anger, and self-grasping. What do I mean by that? When we become upset about an external object such as a car breaking down, surely, we are responding to our attachment to our car or our attachment towards a meeting we are headed to and so forth. It is certainly our attachment that is driving these feelings. If we learn to objectively separate our attachment, we will not get angry and we will be able to maintain our inner peace. For example, I was in a car accident a few years ago. I hit a car in front of me on a highway. I walked out asked the other driver to make sure he was fine. And then knowing he was fine, I apologized to him and he said it’s just the car! What a beautiful way to look at it. I am sure he had somewhere to be and was delayed because of me. He knew the car was going to be fixed by insurance. He did not let an outer problem affect his inner peace. How many of us can remain peaceful like that? That is what keeps our inner happiness.
It is never too late to start controlling our minds. If we make a determination that we will not let outer problems disturb us, we should be able to make a habit – remember, it takes 21 days to make a habit.