Tag: meditation

Karma

We are going to start a series on Karma today. This is a very deep subject so I want to make sure we give enough attention to make sure we have a chance to really understand the subject matter. I am sure you have heard the phrase what goes around comes around. Or you reap what you sow. These are just reminders of how Karma works. Actually, Karma works in much more mysterious ways. But in general, virtuous Karma creates pleasant experiences and non-virtuous Karma creates unpleasant experiences. Let’s look at what is Karma. Karma is a body or speech action initiated by mental action. One cannot create Karma with just bodily action without a mental intention. For example, if I accidentally slap you when trying to get a bee out of your face, I do not create negative Karma since I did not have the intention to slap you. So every time we create a mental action, it leaves what is known as a Karmic imprint on our mind. Essentially, it leaves a potentiality in our minds. This potentiality ripens when the conditions are just right and we feel the effect of those Karma—negative or positive. How come we don’t see the effects of our Karma immediately you might ask? It is very simple. Let’s say you saw a seed in the soil. Now until there is rain, there are no conditions for that seed to ripen and become a plant. Just like that the conditions have to be right for the potentiality of our Karma to ripen.

Another thing to understand is that no two living beings have the exact same set of Karma. Each one of us has a different individual Karma that explains why each one of us has a unique set of experiences. The laws of Karma are why every individual has a unique mental disposition, unique physical appearance, and unique experience. You may notice that some people are prone to accidents or illness while others enjoy pleasant experiences. Some people are difficult to please and others are happy no matter the circumstances. Our acquaintances and relationships are also based on Karma. You may have noticed that you have a very close relationship with someone and after some time they almost disappear from your life. Your friendships end sometimes abruptly and you never talk again to that person. This is because of your karmic relationship with that person and once Karma is used up, there is no more bond. One of my relatives said it very matter of factly once. He used to have this friend with whom they will hang out twice a week. Over time, they drifted apart and stopped seeing each other. Once I was visiting with him and said I don’t see your friend anymore. He said, Raju, our Karmic bond must be over.

An important point to note is that Karma can ripen anytime. It is not necessary for one lifetime’s Karma to ripen in the same lifetime. In fact, often they don’t. This means Karma we have created may ripen if the appropriate circumstances and potentialities arise. That may explain why seemingly nice people sometimes end up suffering immense pain. There is also something called collective Karma. A group of people and their collective Karma ripen that creates external circumstances. For example, some places are always going through wars and atrocities that go along with them. Some places are prone to natural disasters and so on.  This is why we need to make sure that we avoid negative or non-virtuous actions. If we understand the law of Karma, we will understand how we can control our future experiences. If we abandon negative Karma, we will eliminate miserable experiences and by practicing virtuous Karma, we will increase our potential for happiness. We must be mindful throughout the day to make sure that we are not creating negative Karma.

Dangers of Lower Rebirth

We have discussed in the past that this is the cycle of Samsara. We are born into a certain realm, once our time is up, here comes the death, and then we rinse and repeat. During our karma discussions seems like eons ago, we talked about how the type of karma that ripens at the time of death dictates what life we may come back into. This could be in a number of realms including another human life if we are lucky, or an animal realm, hell realm, and so on. Animal realm, hell realms, and others are what are known as lower rebirths. Meaning, we are taking a step down from our human life.

Why are these other realms known as lower rebirths? There are a number of reasons. The first and foremost is that in these other realms one does not have consciousness. Meaning you are reactive all the time. Take an animal life for example. An animal reacts to its environment and is constantly worried about survival. There is no consciousness in an animal. They are not able to make a decision based on what is right and wrong. Another and more important reason is that the human realm allows us to make progress towards our nirvana, mox, mukti, enlightenment. In another realm, we don’t have that ability. It is said that it is easier for a human being to attain enlightenment than for an animal being to attain a human life. If we understand this, we will hopefully take steps towards avoiding nonvirtuous actions.

Nonvirtuous actions or negative karma are the main reason we end up taking a lower rebirth. More nonvirtuous actions we have committed, the more the chance of them ripening at the time of death resulting in higher chances of lower rebirth. If our heavy negative karma ripens at the time of death, we end up as a hell being in the next life. If the middling negative karma ripens at the time of death, we come back as a ghost being and if the lower negative karma ripens, we end up as an animal.

Just knowing this is not enough. We need to develop a fear of taking a lower rebirth in the animal realm or hell realm and so forth. We have talked about how fear is not a good thing. So I know this is a contradiction but in this case, it is a productive fear if there is such a thing. The fear developed of being taking a lower rebirth allows us to take preventive actions today to avoid taking a lower rebirth. If we stop or say reduce our negative actions, our chances of lower birth reduce. There is no way to completely eliminate our chances of lower rebirth since we have already committed negative actions in the past but we can certainly increase our odds of higher rebirth such as a human being.

So the object of our meditation is this fear of lower rebirth. During our meditation, we will first settle down in our hearts. Once we have found that peace, we will begin to contemplate that when we die, we have no control over where we will end up. Depending upon the karma that ripens at death we will take lower rebirth. If our heavy negative karma ripens, we will end up as a hell being. If our middling negative karma ripens, we will end up as a ghost being and if our lower negative karma ripens, we will end up as animal beings. It is very easy to commit heavy negative karma. Just by squatting a mosquito out of anger, we can end up in hell. We have committed countless negative karma over the years. Any one of these karma has the potential to ripen at our death. Ask yourself, if we die today, where will we take the next rebirth.

Once you contemplate this, hopefully, you have developed a strong fear of lower rebirth. This fear is our object of meditation. We hold this fear single-pointedly as long as we can.

War and Stress

I am sure you have some thoughts on the ongoing war in Ukraine. You have to be living under the rock if you are not familiar with the situation by now. Has the war affected you personally at all? I know it has an effect on my psyche for sure. So today let’s talk about how we can cope with war-related stress. This of course assumes that you are physically far away from Ukraine. If you are in a war zone, this may not be of much help to you.

I didn’t even realize at first that I was having war-related stress. I could tell I was a little bit tense for a few days. I could not figure out what was going on. When I started to think about it, I realized that all this war talk is taking a toll. So I tried to figure out why was it affecting me personally. There is of course the compassionate part where I feel for the people in Ukraine but I thought it was deeper than that.

Upon further examination, I realized that it was more about the uncertainty that comes with the war. Affect the economy at a time when we are already in an inflationary environment. Potential for a world war iii if we do end up dragged into it, the potential for a global recession, and so forth. If you feel that your behavior has changed in the past couple of weeks, you might want to self-examine to see if you are having what they call “Headline Stress” – they actually, have a name for it! Who knew?

During my research for this episode, I learned that women and children have an increased vulnerability to the psychological consequences of war. Studies have shown that children have a higher rate of war-related stress than adults. This is kind of understandable because they are not able to process the situation and what they learn on the media tends to be scary.

Wo how do you know if you have war-related stress? Some of the things to look out for include, trouble concentrating, anxiety about the future, being easily irritable, lack of appetite, difficulty sleeping, difficulty making decisions, and so on.

So if you feel this is bothering you, how do you go about fixing it? Fortunately, solutions are simple and plenty. The first thing, to do is to control your intake. Being glued in front of breaking news is the last thing you need. I am not saying to turn yourself off from the information world we live in. But do not over consume the media feed. I got my aha moment when I was watching a news show and they repeated the same clip 6 times in the same one-hour program! That told me they were just hyping something for the eyeballs. Another thing I realized in the same newscast is the fact that a lot of this is propaganda. We only get a point of view. I saw this clip of alleged Russian army atrocities. When I analyzed the clip, I noticed that they did not show any army personnel, no one’s face was visible, there was no license plate on the car, and a few other things that would make the clip suspect. Between these two incidents, I got over my war news appetite. I am telling you, I instantly could see that my stress was relieved.

Another helpful tip is to limit your social media time. As we have discussed in the past, the social media feed keeps us in the bubble of our own opinions and does not allow us to look at the broader picture. Yet another thing to do is embrace uncertainty. Yes, the war is uncertain and it may have negative consequences in the economy, the job market, and such but there is nothing you can do so let’s just see what comes next.

The most important thing you can do is to make sure you maintain your health. Continue with your exercise routine, maintain healthy eating habits, and so forth. If you have not developed a meditation routine, this may be time to develop one. Spend 15 minutes a day meditating. You will be amazed at what that does to your peace of mind. If you are not able to do that, at least, take 10 deep breaths every hour.

Courage

Have you ever had to show courage in the thick of adversity? I am sure you have. Although you may not feel like a particularly courageous person, all of us at one time or another have shown exemplary courage in our lives. So let’s look at what it takes to be courageous and how that helps us move forward in life.

When I looked up the definition of courage, it showed up as the ability to do something that frightens one. Meaning, to face one’s fear is to be courageous. Courage can come in many forms. It could be the courage to stand up for your principles or courage to take a risk or courage to get married and so on. We all have different fears and biases based on the circumstances in which we grew up. So why is it important to be courageous you may ask? Well, for starters, living a courageous life tends to lead one to happiness. How does that work? When you are displaying courage, you are usually trying out something you always wanted to but were afraid to do so. In that case, trying out something that you always wanted to do brings instant happiness no matter the outcome. And even if the outcome does not materialize the way you expected it to be, you will learn from that experience and that will allow you to try something different leading to happiness again! So you see it is kind of a self-fulfilling cycle if you will.

Now that we know it pays to be courageous, let’s figure out how to be more courageous. The first thing to do when you are facing a fear of a particular action is to look at the worst and best-case scenario. Try to imagine the worst case if you do take a particular action and the best case if you do take that particular action. When you visualize these, it does two things. First, it makes you aware of the upside of the decision if you do jump in. This way, you are able to weigh the pros and cons of both scenarios. Another thing it does is it quantifies the risk you are taking. When you quantify the risk you are taking, you become immune from your fears.

The other one is to realize that we are wired for negative bias. From our hunter-gatherer days, our brain is wired for negative bias because that was survival. We are no longer in that situation so it helps to look at both the negative outcome as well as the positive outcome. This way, we are able to put the downside into perspective.  Yet another thing to do is practice relaxation techniques such as deep breaths and meditation. This prepares our body for the physical stress that comes with fear. It also keeps our minds clear.

One other thing that helps become courageous is to be courageous. What do I mean by that? Well, practice courageous actions in small doses. If you are afraid of the dark, for example, go to the basement in the dark once a day. That will build your confidence and allow you to become courageous when the stakes are much higher.

Another way to face our fears is to make plans. If you have a step-by-step plan of action, being courageous becomes a lot easier. 

I do want to point out that being courageous for the sake of being courageous is not a good thing also. The way to avoid the bravado mentality is to make sure that you know where your strengths lie. If you know your strengths and weaknesses, then you will avoid being courageous for the sake of it.

So next time you are facing the fear of moving forward on a subject you are uncomfortable with, try finding your inner strength and go for it. You will grow from the experience even if it does not work out the way you wanted it to be. And remember what President Franklin D. Roosevelt said: “the only thing you have to fear is the fear itself”.

Forgive and Forget

I am sure you have heard a lot about forget and forgive. Your parents probably gave you that advice and you probably gave the same advice to your children! But how many of us are truly able to practice in reality? Let’s look at how we should practice this and more importantly why should we practice it?

We will begin with why we should practice forget and forgive. According to the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, forgiveness is healthy for you! It provides tremendous benefits for your health including a lower risk of heart attack, reducing LDL (the so-called bad cholesterol), improving sleep, reducing blood pressure,  reducing anxiety, depression, and stress. I mean the list goes on and on. It’s almost like meditation if you ask me😊 Here is the best part; as we age, forgiveness and health connection keep getting better. According to Dr. Karen Schwartz of the JHU School of Medicine, chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure, and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease, and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.

Another reason to forgive is that it allows us to actually forget the painful memories of a particular incident. Once we forget those painful memories, we are able to cope with the situation and actually move on without getting stuck in the past.

Probably the most important reason in my opinion is that forgiveness opens up doors to reconciliation. Forgiveness may help the other person realize the hurt they caused you and will lead to mending fences between the two of you.

Now let’s look at how to forgive. For those of you who have tried this, I am sure you can attest to the fact that it is not easy to forgive. But once you do, it is a liberating feeling. Your mind no longer is stuck in anger or negativity surrounding the incident. And some people are better equipped to forgive than others for sure. However, it is a learned skill. You can learn to forgive. That means all of us can cultivate the skill. Essentially, it is a choice. It is a choice to be compassionate towards those who you think have wronged you. If you would like to learn more about developing compassion, please check out Episode 33 which talks at length about how we can develop compassion towards all living beings.

The first thing we need to do when trying to forgive someone is to actually remember the actual incident. Sometimes we are angry but if we reflect back we may realize that we also played a part in getting the thing out of proportioned. In that case, forgiveness comes easily. Even if we had no role to play, remembering the event solidifies our hurt.

Once we remember, the next step is to empathize with the person we are trying to forgive. This is not easy but what helps in these situations is to understand where their delusions may be coming from. Maybe they were having a bad day or had a rough childhood—whatever that may be. We are not trying to make excuses for them, just empathize with them as human beings.

The next step is to not have any expectations. A lot of people expect an apology before they can forgive. That is bartering and not forgiveness. Don’t expect anything from the other person. Just decide to forgive them for the hurt they caused you. Tell them that you forgive them. If you are not able to talk to them talk to someone else who you trust.

Another important step is to forgive yourself. I know this sounds crazy but most people blame themselves for the hurt that is done to them. We must learn to forgive ourselves to be truly free of the hurt. Oh and one another thing, the best way to practice forgiveness is you guessed it, practice gratitude. If we are thankful for what we have forgiveness tends to come easily. I can’t believe how many times we look at different issues and gratitude almost always comes as one of the ways to solve a problem!

And remember never go to sleep agitated. If you make a habit of forgetting all ill will of the day when you go to bed, the next day is a brand new beginning. No more resentment from the previous night. If you can practice that, you will never have to worry about keeping it in and affecting your health.

Hope this all makes sense and you are able to forgive and forget whatever it is that hurt you.