How To Access Peace Within Us

We have talked about in the past that within every one of our hearts exists this potential for total freedom from ignorance, complete bliss, and pure happiness, known as our Buddha nature. So today, let’s talk about how to access that peacefulness within us.

We need to learn to experience that nature. We are not able to because we have been habitually caught up with our delusions such as our greed, our anger, and our attachment and we think that’s me. But that’s not us. Those are our delusions.

They are defilements of our minds, our tendencies, our habits, but that is not us. They may be ruining our life but that is not us.

Buddha gives an example of seawater. We can all agree that the sea water is salty. It is salty water. He says no. Water is water. It is the salt that makes it salty. And nowadays, science tells us that we can have a desalination plant and the water is no longer salty! So the water itself is water. It is the salt that made it salty.

In the same way, it’s possible to get rid of the delusions from our mind and leave that clear, pure nature of our mind, which is already there. It’s just that the delusions are making it salty, but it doesn’t mean our mind is salty.   

By nature, we are pure. Our nature is completely peaceful, joyful, and even actually, blissful.

We all have Buddha says our continuously residing minds. Which is the deepest level of awareness. It is completely pure. It is always there. All other minds come and go. So our continuously residing mind is like a clear sky. And delusions and all other conceptions are like clouds that temporarily arise.

We must remember that all the time. That deep down, we are a peaceful person, a joyful person, a blissful person. It’s just that we have all this sand or dirt on top of our golden nugget. But it is a golden nugget and not some dirty rock.

So, therefore, the first step to accessing our pure nature is meditation so that our mind can settle down to its pure nature.

So we are letting the waves die down by focusing on the breath. We’re allowing the waves of our delusions to just die down. This is all we do, to begin with, we just don’t follow our delusions. The way we don’t follow our delusions is by following our breath instead, can only actually our mind can only single-pointedly focus on one thing at a time.

So we like to think we can multitask and stuff. But generally, what’s happening in our mind is just moving all over the place all day exhausting. Trying to do many things at once. Our mind is only actually ever doing one thing at a time. But just moments before it does the next thing in the next thing. Our mind is very much in the nature of the movement. And this is like, go back to the ocean analogy. It’s causing all that disruption. Just the fact that we can’t focus on one thing very well. Sometimes we can. But insofar as we can make lots of things at once, we can’t. But when we focus on breath, then we are focusing single-pointedly as we can one point of focus on the breath. At that point, we’re not projecting any of our other deluded thoughts. You know, what happens to a thought when we stop thinking about it? They go away.

Our delusions are just thoughts. When we stop thinking, those deluded thoughts subside, like the waves sliding into the ocean, that just happens. And we discover that we are actually peaceful, that our mind is actually peaceful, relatively to begin with, right, because it’s quite hard to let our mind completely let go of all the delusions dissolve into this endless deep bliss, okay, that takes some time. But we get a little bit of a taste of the waves dying down, to use the other metaphor, the clouds, clearing a little taste of the blue sky.

And now with meditation, we’re learning to master our mind, control our mind, which is absolutely essential, because if we don’t master our minds, our mind is always going to be in control of us. And when I say our mind, I mean, our delusions are going to control us because they’re what’s running the show at the moment. Right? So if we want to experience peace and happiness, we need to learn to master our minds.

And first step is just making a decision to stay with the breath. We can do a lot based on our decision. If we decide to do something, then there’s every chance we can do that thing. If we don’t decide to do it, then of course, you know, if we just kind of enter our breathing meditation, quiet half-heartedly, and think, Okay, it just seems like something quite peaceful. But we’re not really haven’t made any strong decision to stay with the breath, then we’re going to naturally follow every thought that comes up. Because that’s what we do. That’s what we are used to doing. We’re used to just following every single thought that comes up. But no we’re going to make a decision. I’m going to focus on my breath.

And if a thought comes, we say OK, we are going back to focusing on our breath. If we do this for a while, then what happens is that as the mind starts to settle down, even if it’s just a little bit, turbulence, and delusions, start to die down even a little bit, and we start to sense that depth in that space, that ocean, clarity within our mind, continuously residing, mind our Buddha nature potential, we start to just glimpse it. And that’s why we need a glimpse enough for us to then change the object of meditation from the breath to the peace itself. Again, focus on this peace, I’m going to enjoy this peace the abide by this peace. And focus on that single-pointedly.

When our delusions are not manifesting strongly, our mind is naturally relaxed, actually peaceful, and naturally happy.

Happiness Is An Inside Job

I am here to reveal a secret today. We are going to talk about how happiness is an inside job! Let me ask you first. Where does happiness come from? Where does suffering come from? Let’s look at the real causes and conditions of real happiness. Inner peace is the real cause of happiness.

Buddha said that we have limitless potential for peace, happiness, and joy within ourselves. It is our Buddha nature. We have the potential to be permanently free from suffering. What gets in the way is our nature of trying to fix everything. If we think about it, every day we wake up and we try to fix problems. We are putting out fires we call them. But are they fires? A lot of times in trying to fix things, we lose our inner peace. We get bogged down in these so-called fires and sometimes the fire consumes us! I am sure all of us have experienced these patterns in our lives.

Even though inner peace is the source of our happiness, we keep wanting external conditions to make us happy. I think we talked about this before but I am going to give this example again to drive the point home. We all derive pleasure from some type of food. It gives us joy and satisfaction. For me, that is pizza. But can pizza really make us happy? When I start eating pizza, the first few slices are like heaven. After the third slice, I can hardly eat. Now if I keep eating, I would become uncomfortable. After maybe the 10th slice, I would start to throw up and all of a sudden, I am suffering. There is no joy in continuing to eat pizza. So what does that tell us? It tells us that happiness is not coming from pizza. If pizza could bring happiness, it would not change to suffering.

And we can use other examples in a similar way, money, cars, and houses. Even relationships cannot make us happy. You fall in love with someone and they can do no wrong. Every little quirk they may have, you find adorable! Some time goes by and now, you find them annoying. The same quirks that you thought were adorable are now disgusting! What happened? Your attachment went away that’s all.

Love, on the other hand, can make you happy. Genuine love has no expectations. It does want anything in return.  

If you think about what makes us unhappy, there is a long list. Traffic makes us unhappy. Someone cuts us off and now our whole day is ruined. Why do we give the power of our happiness to some stranger who does not even know we exist? We seek happiness in social media in all places. We like that we have “friends” and “followers” on social media. How many of these friends genuinely care about our well-being? There are businesses that give you pictures so it looks like you are on vacation in a foreign land! How crazy is that? You put these pictures just to impress some stranger! Where is the happiness in that?

We rearrange our lives just to make sure we remove things that make us unhappy and bring in things that make us happy. But that is just a temporary solution because new things pop up that make us unhappy. If we think our problems come from sorting out external events, we will never be happy.

Let me ask you a question. How many of you have been truly happy for a straight 24-hour period? No sad thoughts, no anger, no jealousy, no uneasiness, just pure happiness. Very few of us can say we have been truly happy for a straight 24 hours. And those of us who had a few of those, how many times? Very few times I am sure.

Because we are so bogged down on external conditions, we are not even able to be truly happy for a straight 24-hour period.

When we go on vacation in paradise, our whole goal is to be happy. We land and the rental car counter has an issue with our reservation. All of a sudden the paradise does not feel like paradise anymore. This story plays out every day at a tourist destination. I had an interesting tour guide last year in Egypt. A young man took us on this old-fashioned boat tour in the river Nile. We were talking about his client base and he said sometimes people come and they get upset about some view or something where he takes them. He said he usually tells them, you paid so much money to come here, just be happy. I thought he had this figured out. He is right. We have the choice to be happy no matter the external conditions.

The true source of our happiness is inner peace. So regardless of what happens out there, let’s try to keep our inner peace.

Developing Compassion – Affectionate Love

We have talked about how it is best to try and develop compassion towards all living beings. It is easy to develop compassion towards people in our immediate circle (our family, our friends, etc.). But it is much harder to develop compassion towards someone we do not know. Ans harder still for someone in a faraway place. It’s like this when we hear about a natural disaster half a world away, we feel bad for sure but not enough to do something about it and help them. It happens in our region, we actually want to do something about it—maybe we send some money or consumables, etc. If that happens in our neighborhood, we roll up our sleeves and help as many people as we can. So how do we develop the same high level of compassion for all living beings?

Well, before we develop compassion toward everyone, we first need to have a love for them. If we have a love for someone in our hearts, developing compassion towards them becomes easy. So how do we develop love towards other random people and even people who do not care for us? Well, let’s start with types of love. There are three types of love. Affectionate love, cherishing love, and wishing love.

Here is from the book Universal Compassion: We can understand these by considering the following example. If a mother is reunited with one of her children after a long separation, she is very happy and feels great affection for her. This special feeling of affection is affectionate love. Out of affection, the mother considers her child to be very precious and wants to take special care of her. This special feeling of caring is cherishing love. Because she has affectionate love and cherishing love for her child, if she sees that she is unhappy she immediately wishes to restore her happiness. This wish for others to be happy and to help them to achieve happiness is wishing love.

So let’s break this down. In simplest terms, affectionate love is to like someone. If we are in a family and we have affection towards each other, life would be much smoother. Similarly, if we have affection towards our community, we will try to make sure that everyone in our community is free from suffering. This affectionate love brings harmony and peace to the community. The easiest way to develop affectionate love is to think about how no one wants to suffer. We know that we don’t want to have any suffering in life. Similarly, no one wishes to suffer for themselves. Once we understand that all beings want to be free from suffering, we will develop affectionate love toward them. A warm feeling in our hearts towards them. It is difficult to practice this by trying to show affectionate love towards everyone at once. So one should start by showing affectionate love towards a select few that would be easier – members of your family or close friends. Then expand the circle once you are comfortable.

Now, we need to be careful because a lot of times what people call love is more like attachment. For these people more the “love” increases, the more desirous attachment they develop. If the object of their “love” even talks to someone else, they get jealous or angry. This is not love. This is the attachment. Real love does not make one angry. So what is affectionate love? In the book How To Transform Your Life, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso outlines: when from the depths of our heart, without attachment, we feel very close, warm, and happy towards someone, this is affectionate love. It makes our mind peaceful and balanced, free from anger and attachment. Thus it is called “equanimity”.

Developing equanimity is like plowing a field—clearing our minds of the rocks and weeds of anger and attachment. That will make it possible for true love to grow. So how do learn to develop affectionate love? One way to develop this is to make an effort to be happy to see everyone. Whenever we see someone, we should be happy to meet them and try to generate a warm feeling towards them. If we are starting a meeting just before we get into the meeting room, we imagine all the people who are going to be in the meeting and try and generate a smile on our faces.

There are many benefits of meditating on affectionate love. Nagarjuna a great Indian scholar said that the biggest benefit of meditating on affectionate love for just one moment is that we accumulate greater merit than giving food three times to all the hungry people in this world! How wonderful!

Giving

Today is Colorado Gives Day. So what better time to discuss Giving than today? As you know, we have been discussing six perfections for the past couple of weeks. After Gratitude, this is my favorite topic. Let’s talk about another perfection—Giving in today’s session.

Giving is a virtuous mental intention to give. It can also be helping with bodily or speech actions with the mental intention to give. There are three types of giving: 1) giving material things; 2) giving Dharma or spirituality; 3) giving fearlessness.

If we have difficulty giving material things, it helps to think about the disadvantages of miserliness. Miserliness is a tight, uncomfortable mind, that leads to isolation. Giving on the other hand is a joyful mind that leads to abundant resources in the future. There is no point in clinging to our possessions because wealth acquires meaning only when it is given away or used for the benefit of others.

There are many benefits of generosity. When we give away material things, it reduces our attachment to the material world. According to a Canadian research study, generosity can reduce blood pressure, reduce depression, reduces stress, decreases anxiety, and more. Generosity also improves our relationship with the people around us. When we give, we are creating positive momentum and hope it catches on and other people carry on with that torch.

I saw an interesting research piece from the John Templeton Foundation on generosity. They found that people who give on their own accord, tend to be happier. Happy people tend to be more generous so it creates its own ecosystem. They also found that donating money releases the same neural pathways in our brains that are activated by other pleasure activities such as food, sex, etc. People tend to be more generous when they see other people giving. As Americans, we are the most generous nation on earth. We donate more than $500 billion per year. That is a staggering amount.

Giving also needs to have the right motivation. For example, if we give something expecting something in return it is not really giving. It is just bartering. Giving also should be without pride. If we give with pride that washes away the benefits of giving. Buddha said that having pride in our giving is like eating a feast of a meal with poison sprinkled on it. It does you no good.

Giving for the sake of giving is what we need to learn to practice. When we begin to do that, we do it out of contentment, and as a result, happiness follows.

And we have touched on this before but giving does not mean giving material things only. One can give our time, our skillsets, our compassion and care, our attention, and so forth. Giving away one’s skills and abilities without any thought of return is giving out of compassion. That is what true generosity looks like.

Why is generosity important you might ponder? Generosity by definition diminishes one’s ego. If we cultivate generosity, we will slowly take a stab at reducing our ego.

One thing to keep in mind is that we should only give away all of our possessions when the time is right. If we give away everything that we have, we won’t be able to function and help people in need for a long time. So one way to practice giving is to mentally dedicate all of our possessions for the benefit of others and then physically give them away when it is most appropriate. This is similar to nonprofit organizations that keep funds in the reserve and do not spend every donation they get right away.

The amount of merit we receive by giving also depends upon the nature of the recipient. If we give to spiritual causes or to our parents or to people who are sick and poor, we accumulate more merit.

The next type of giving is giving Dharma. When we teach someone spirituality with the right motivation, we are accumulating merits of giving Dharma. This is much more beneficial than giving material things because material things help someone in this lifetime but spirituality helps them in this lifetime as well as in future lives. If we are not able to teach another way to accumulate merits of giving Dharma is dedicating our virtues to peace and happiness of all living beings.

The last type of giving is giving fearlessness. To give fearlessness is to protect other living beings from fear or danger. This can come in many forms. For example, if we rescue someone from a fire, or natural disaster, or protect them from physical violence, this is all types of giving fearlessness. Our first responders who do this on a daily basis are accumulating tremendous amounts of merit. If this is not possible for us to do, we can still accumulate merits of giving fearlessness by praying for those in danger.

I hope this inspires you to practice giving on a regular basis and not just one day a year!

Moral Discipline

In the past, we briefly touched on the six perfections. Six perfections are the guide to living a life on the right path the path that leads to enlightenment. Now that is a tall order for sure but practicing these six perfections would certainly make our daily lives joyful and would bring joy to people around us. So today, let’s talk about the perfection of moral discipline.

In “The Boddhisattva Vow” Geshe Kelsang Gyatso defines moral discipline as a virtuous mental determination to abandon any fault or any action that is motivated by such a determination. That’s it. It is that simple. If we know something is wrong and we make a determination to avoid that, and follow through with it, we are practicing moral discipline.

There are three types of moral discipline; 1) the moral discipline of restraint; 2) the moral discipline of generating virtuous karma; 3) the moral discipline of benefiting other living beings.

Let’s look at each one in detail. The moral discipline of restraint is abstaining from non-virtuous acts. You see to practice this type of moral discipline we first need to understand the dangers of committing negative actions, make a promise to abandon such negative actions, and then follow through on it. Simply not doing something without knowing that it is wrong is not moral discipline. For example, a two-year-old does not know that killing is bad. If they abstain from killing they are not practicing moral discipline. Now, on the other hand, a five-year-old knows killing is bad and then avoids killing ants, they are practicing moral discipline. So if we understand the dangers of ten non-virtuous actions that we have talked about at length during our karma series, promise to refrain from them, and then follow through on that promise, we are practicing the moral discipline of restraint. If we are not ready to abandon all of the negative actions at once, we can take a vow to refrain from one particular type of non-virtuous action for a certain period. Once we keep that promise, we can increase the duration of our promise for a longer time in the next iteration.

To practice this, we need to rely upon our M A C technique. We need to be mindful so we don’t forget our vows. We need to stay alert so that when delusions crop up, we can use our conscientiousness to avoid non-virtuous actions.

Next is the moral discipline of generating virtuous karma. To me, this is easier than the first one but like anything else depending upon our own karma we find one type of moral discipline easier than the other. In this moral discipline, we need to try and generate virtuous karma. Again, it is important to be mindful of what it is that we are doing for that to be considered moral discipline. I am sure there are some benefits of accidental positive karma but positive karma created by mindfulness had the full effect if you will.

The last type of moral discipline is of benefiting living beings. This is the moral discipline of helping others in whatever way that we can. We can offer material help if someone needs it or we can offer advice to them if they are going through a difficult stage in their life or we can teach them dharma or we can pray for them at a minimum. When we help others, we should be sensitive to their needs, state of mind, experience, and point of view. If we come down as Hollier than thou, no matter how good the advice may be, they are not likely to follow it and we are not doing good to anyone.

There is an interesting story of a Tibetan monk. He had a good size following and one day he was giving teaching from a throne to a few hundred followers. There was this lady in the village whose daughter was sick and someone told her that if she put the daughter in the monk’s care, that would save her daughter. So the lady takes a few-month-old daughter in a basket to the monk when he was giving a lecture and said out loud, here keep your daughter. She is your daughter so you raise her. Then she quietly told the monk to save her daughter. Monk just nodded and took the baby in his lap and continued with his teaching. Over the next few years, he raised this baby like she was his own. Once the lady realized that her daughter was healthy she came back to pick her up. Now talk about the moral discipline of helping living beings! Most people would have worried about their reputation and whatnot. Not this monk. He wanted to help and realized that if he challenged the lady, he would not be able to help the baby.

I know none of us are monks but if we apply some of these teachings at a small level in our lives; the world would be a better place.