Author: meditation

What if you are trying to help someone and they don’t get it that makes you angry? Where does self-cherishing come in this case?

That is a great question. Let’s say for example, you give some money to a homeless person to get some food. They turn around and buy liquor or cigarettes with that money. If that happens you get angry because you think they are not conforming to your values. You have attachment towards the money you just gave them – which arises out of self-cherishing. So in this case even though you are trying to help someone, your anger towards them is due to your self-cherishing.

Self-cherishing

Let’s talk about delusions today. There are six so-called root delusions – anger, attachment, ignorance, pride, doubt, and wrong views. If you think about it, delusions are the reason for our day to day unhappiness. Someone offends us in some way, and we get angry. We have high expectations from our friends and family due to attachment. So, on and so forth. Have you ever stopped to think about where these delusions come from? Why do we get angry or jealous? The root cause of all our delusions is self-cherishing. Self-cherishing is a mind that thinks “I am important”. Think about it. We have a conversation with someone, and they say something that hurts our pride. Why does that hurt our pride?   That is because we think we are more important than other person. We can apply the same logic on all of our delusions. For example, someone on your staff did not complete their task on time and you got angry. Well you got angry because that makes you look bad – you promised your client or your superior that task would be complete on certain date. So your anger is out of your self-cherishing and has nothing to do with the project itself. So we should try and contemplate during our mediation that all of our problems arise from self-cherishing. I must eliminate self-cherishing.

Can I look at a picture to clear my mind?

When we look at a picture our sense organ is active. Our eyes cannot visualize anything without the involvement of our mind. So when we are looking at a picture, we are engaging our mind. As a temporary solution, it is better than having our mind go in 10 different direction. However, ultimately, we want to train our mind to be quiet. Our mind should take instructions from us – which is not happening right now. So this whole exercise is about training the mind.

Loving Kindness

Let’s talk about Loving Kindness today. It is a phrase that originates from the Sanskrit word “Maitri”. In Pali language it was called “Metta”. Loving Kindness practice is used to develop wishes for unconditional goodwill towards the object of the wish.

“I Want Everything For You and Nothing From You” that is loving-kindness. I believe Rumi may have said that phrase.

Qualities that facilitate the development of Loving Kindness include such qualities as being non-deceptive, sincere, easy to correct, gentle and without arrogance.

Why Loving Kindness? A peaceful world requires peaceful people. Angry people cannot bring peace. I am amazed when otherwise peaceful people are so agitated that they start violent acts in the name of demanding peace.

Ways we can develop Loving Kindness include patience, generosity, inclusiveness, forgiveness and playfulness.

Loving Kindness meditation is an intentional wish for other living beings to be happy.

So, we start by bringing attention to ourselves and contemplate:

May I be happy; may I be loved; may I be free from misery; may I be joyful.

Then we think of a person who is closest to us and contemplate:

May you be happy; may you be loved; may you be free from misery; may you be joyful.

Next, we think about someone who is not as close to us and contemplate:

May they be happy; may they be loved; may they be free from misery; may they be joyful.

And lastly, we think about all living beings and contemplate:

May we be happy; may we be loved; may we be free from misery; may we be joyful.