Author: meditation

Equalizing Self w Others

Let’s talk about equalizing ourselves with others. This means cherishing others as much as we cherish ourselves. Earlier in Episode 5, we talked about the kindness of others – although it seems like ages ago! Just to recap on that so we can build on it. So many people are kind to us on a daily basis. For example, let’s take the simple act of drinking a glass of water. Someone had to design a water system (countless people are involved in just the design phase); then someone built that water system; water is being purified and filtered before it is delivered to your home. Someone designed, built, shipped, and sold the water glass to you. Can you imagine how many total numbers of people were involved for you to get that glass of water?

Next, we think about they all want to be happy as much as we do. And that is the fact correct. No one that we know says I don’t want to be happy. They may not say in as many words that I want to be happy but we all know that they do. All of us want to eliminate physical and mental pain that comes along every now and then. Unfortunately, more often than not. So I think we all agree that all in that regard we are no different from other beings. We are all equal.

Finally, we think about they are many and I am just one. This is a little bit difficult for a lot of people to grasp. But let’s say you were put in charge of saving an African village. One action you take will help 499 out of 500 people in that village but will negatively impact one person. But if you don’t take that action, all 500 people will suffer. Now you don’t know anyone in that village. So for you, this is an easy decision. You will take the action for the greater good – help 499 people. You are able to make that decision because you have detached yourself so you are able to take an objective look at the situation. Similarly, if we objectively take a look, we are just one person and they are many. Their happiness is as much of importance as our happiness. This is the process of equalizing self with others.

Our Daily Problems

When you think about our daily problems, they fall into two categories: outer problems and inner problems. If we understand the difference between outer problems and inner problems, we can begin to look at a solution for a peaceful life. Let’s take some examples. Say our car breaks down. Some people get really anxious when their car breaks down – creating an inner problem. This is a result of a strong attachment towards an object. We have so much attachment towards our things that we begin to identify with our possessions. When a car breaks down, it can be fixed by a skilled mechanic. It just needs the right person to fix it. However, when we begin to get unhappy because of the breakdown of the car, no one can fix that. We are the only ones responsible for our inner happiness. If we control our mind and realize that car is an inanimate object. It has no feelings, so it has no problems as such. Yes, it is broken but by itself, it has no problems. It cannot express its disappointment. It is completely an outer problem. On the other hand, if we look at the breaking down of a car objectively, take it to the right shop to get fixed and not let it disturb our inner peace, we will come out ahead.

Let’s take another example of our body which is much closer to ourselves than an external object or a situation. Now, this is going to be uncomfortable for a lot of people because all of our lives, we have identified our body as I. Let’s say we get diagnosed with a disease. Getting a disease or hurting our body is an inner problem most of you will argue. But it is actually our body’s problem. We have this strong attachment to our bodies that makes us think that we are our bodies. We believe our pain comes from our body, but the body cannot feel pain without the mind. The body is also an inanimate object just like our car. You may have heard stories of Indian yogis who let their Doctors perform surgery on them without anesthesia. These yogis do not feel any pain because they have overcome their self-grasping and understand that they are not their body. We, on the other hand, grasp our bodies a little too tight!

If we let that outer problem affect us internally, it affects our happiness creating an inner problem. Our unpleasant feelings are the result of our mind. They are arising out of uncontrolled desires or attachment, anger, and self-grasping. What do I mean by that? When we become upset about an external object such as a car breaking down, surely, we are responding to our attachment to our car or our attachment towards a meeting we are headed to and so forth. It is certainly our attachment that is driving these feelings. If we learn to objectively separate our attachment, we will not get angry and we will be able to maintain our inner peace. For example, I was in a car accident a few years ago. I hit a car in front of me on a highway. I walked out asked the other driver to make sure he was fine. And then knowing he was fine, I apologized to him and he said it’s just the car! What a beautiful way to look at it. I am sure he had somewhere to be and was delayed because of me. He knew the car was going to be fixed by insurance. He did not let an outer problem affect his inner peace. How many of us can remain peaceful like that? That is what keeps our inner happiness.

It is never too late to start controlling our minds. If we make a determination that we will not let outer problems disturb us, we should be able to make a habit – remember, it takes 21 days to make a habit.

Equanimity

Today let’s talk about equanimity. There are two types of equanimity. One that is your attitude towards the situation and the other your attitude towards the phenomenon. Let’s take the second one first. In this context, equanimity means compassion without attachment. It sounds very simple but it is a profound topic. If we think about it, we normally have three different attitudes toward all beings. Attachment, hatred, or indifference. We exhibit compassion towards those who we are attached to. We have no compassion for those we hate. And we don’t care one way or another about someone we are indifferent about. For example, as we sit here there are genocide’s going on in parts of the world. We read about them in the news and have little or no compassion towards their situation. If on the other hand, someone we are attached to is going through difficulty, we show great compassion. That is great. However, oftentimes our compassion is conditional because of attachment. It may be we want them to do things a certain way or we want them to thank us or what have you. An equanimous mind is a mind that is compassionate towards all beings without attachment. So we have some compassion towards someone who is a family member as someone who we know nothing about. Currently, if two people are in trouble, we tend to help one who we are attached to but not the other. This discrimination is what we need to stop in trying to be equanimous. Developing universal compassion is not easy and can take a lifetime but we need to start somewhere. The best place to start is to try and start with removing attachment from who we are already compassionate. Give them out unconditional love. These are the people we are already attached to. After that, we begin showing compassion towards everyone we meet and expand from there. The second definition of equanimity is a mind that is steady regardless of the situation. This is a balanced mind. No matter the situation, we keep our cool. That means if a situation is tense and people are talking negativity, we don’t get angry and react accordingly. We assess the situation without emotionally getting involved and respond to the problem at hand. This also means is the situation is all positive we don’t get excited and let our egos go rampant. Even in such a situation, we remain even kill. Equanimity is protection from what is called the Eight Worldly Winds: praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute. Becoming attached to or excessively elated with success, praise, fame, or pleasure can be a setup for suffering when the winds of change shift. According to the Buddha, the way to bring about equanimity is wise attention: to be continually mindful from moment to moment, without a break, based on the intention to develop equanimity. One moment of equanimity causes a succeeding moment of equanimity to arise. Once equanimity is activated, it will be the cause for equanimity to continue and to deepen. It can bring one to deep levels of practice beyond the insight into the arising and passing away of phenomena. Ways to develop equanimity include 1) balanced mental state towards all living beings; and 2) balanced mental state towards nonliving things. Equanimity allows for the mystery of things: the unknowable, uncontrollable nature of things to be just as they are. In this acceptance lies peace and freedom—right there in the midst of whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in. When we realize that it is actually very little we can control other than our own reactions to circumstances, we learn to let go.

Positive Karma

Let’s talk about virtuous or positive actions. There are three parts to this discussion. 1) ten virtuous actions; 2) factors in the beneficial powers; 3) the effects of virtual actions. Virtuous actions are paths that lead to happiness. Similar to ten negative actions, there are ten positive actions. They are essentially opposite to ten negative actions. Each of the ten positive actions is restraint from their respective negative action. They are abandoning killing, abandoning stealing, abandoning sexual misconduct, abandoning lying, abandoning divisive speech, abandoning hurtful speech, abandoning idle chatter, abandoning covetousness, abandoning malice, and abandoning holding wrong views. Each of the ten principal virtuous actions is restraint from one of the ten non-virtuous actions. To refrain deliberately from non-virtuous actions, having understood their danger is what is important for it to be a virtuous action. For example, when a baby does not steal does not mean that baby is practicing virtuous action because the baby does not understand the dangers of the effects of stealing. Let’s take killing as an example. Some people are able to take all living beings as their object and try to abandon the killing of all living beings. This means insects on up. Some people say a fisherman whose job it is to catch fish may not want to do that initially. But they can take all objects except a fish and abandon the killing of those objects. They can then slowly introduce not killing a fish on weekends, at nights and so forth slowly increasing these periods of time. Once we have made this decision as long as we remain mindful, our virtuous actions are being fulfilled. Just like non-virtuous actions, the more we perform a virtuous action, the more powerful it becomes. All positive Karma also has three kinds of effects. The ripened effect, the effect similar to the cause, and the environmental effect. The ripened effect is taking birth in a higher realm such as human birth. Effects tendencies similar to virtuous actions allow us the opportunity to perform the same kind of virtuous actions over and over. As long as we don’t resist these tendencies, we will have an opportunity to add on to our balance of virtuous actions. Experience similar to cause affords better living conditions. For example, an experience similar to abandoning killing is that we enjoy a long life; the experience similar to abandoning stealing is that we effortlessly accumulate wealth. Have you ever noticed some people tend to have a Midas touch and make money effortlessly in anything they try? That is an experience similar to the previous virtuous action of abandoning stealing. Experience similar to the action of abandoning sexual misconduct is that we have stable friendships and happier family life. The environmental effects of virtuous actions are opposite to the environmental effects of non-virtuous actions. It is important to point out that an environmental effect is not a quality of external conditions but the quality of the mind that experiences that. What do I mean by that? The same external conditions can be experienced as different environmental effects by different minds. For example, in a place where most people find the food good and nourishing, some people experience nausea and indigestion. Two people can take the same medicine and one of them can get an adverse side effect. So it is the individual Karma of each one of us that determines the environmental effect. The object of virtuous action also affects the power of our actions. For example, if we give a pair of clothes to a hungry person, it counts. But, if we give them food, it is much more powerful. The motivation behind any action is also important. For example, we give something that we don’t have any need for counts. But if we give something with a wish to benefit someone is much more powerful. As you can see there is a lot to unpack here. Karma is a deep and profound subject. Hopefully, over the last five sessions, we have scratched the surface and all of us are beginning to think about the long term effects of our day to day actions.