Tag: peace

Why Meditate?

I was at a party over the weekend. During our idle chatter, someone asked me why I meditate and what is the purpose. They continued if that brings 10 minutes of peace in one’s day. I thought it’s been a while since we looked at why we are getting together every Tuesday so it would be nice to look at that again. Surely, we want to find that peace within us on a daily basis for however long that we can find it. But the purpose of practice is never the practice.

What do I mean by that? Let’s say you decide to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Now unless you are used to climbing fourteeners, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro is no small feat. Especially, on the last day. The first few days it is relatively easy but on the last day, you are supposed to start climbing around 9 or 10 pm. You will reach the peak just around dawn. You take a few pictures and then continue with the descent for about four hours or so before getting to a camp. This is not an easy day for anybody. You will be essentially on your feet for 10 hours or so. In this case, you will start conditioning your body before you head out to Tanzania. You begin a daily exercise routine and probably weekly climbing practice. The purpose of this conditioning is not to get good at conditioning but to prepare yourself for the climb on Mount Kilimanjaro.

Our daily meditation practice is supposed to condition us for our daily worldly activities. For example, let’s say you buy a 10,000-piece Lego puzzle. That’s a lot of pieces and would take you a few days to complete for sure. Now you begin to organize your pieces in different piles first. Then you begin to build the puzzle. You spend say 30 minutes doing this. If you spend the next 23 ½ hours breaking what you have already built and mixing all the pieces you had separated what is the result? The next day, you will have a bigger challenge on your hand.

So when we meditate, we are trying to find that peace within us for sure. The bigger purpose however is to make sure that we carry that with us throughout the rest of our day. We want to be centered no matter what life throws at us. That is the real purpose of our meditation. Getting grounded within ourselves. If during our meditation practice say you had a rough time concentrating on a particular day. But after meditation is complete, you can be kind and loving towards everyone you come across. That is a successful mediation session. On the other hand, if you had a peaceful meditation where you came close to enlightenment but after the meditation session you have difficulty showing compassion towards anyone, that was an unsuccessful meditation session.

And of course, there are actual health benefits of meditation that we have discussed before. They include reduced stress, lower anxiety, improved self-awareness, and so on. In a nutshell, meditation leads to a peaceful mind. It puts us in a relaxed state of being both physically and mentally.

Before we begin our meditation I just want to remind everyone about the 10 x 10 practice we have discussed in the past. Try to take 10 deep breaths approx. 10 times every day. Each breath comes from your diaphragm. Put your hand on your stomach. As you breathe, your stomach should expand. So take a deep inhalation. You will feel your stomach expand. When you exhale, you deflate your stomach – they say to try to reach your spinal cord with your stomach.

Even if you are in the middle of a project, just stop and take 10 deep breaths. You can do this every hour – the easiest way to do this is to put an alarm on your phone so you have a reminder. When you take these breaths, be sure to focus on the sensation of your breath in your nostrils. I believe this will help you calm down in the middle of the day and will bring you can to your center if you are having a difficult day.

Karma

Continuing on our Karma series, let’s talk about the severity of negative Karma. Sometimes we feel that the response to our negative action is not proportional to the action itself. Not every negative Karma results in similar suffering. The degree of suffering depends upon the power of our actions.

This power depends upon six factors including 1) the nature of the action; 2) the intention; 3) the method; 4) the object; 5) how often the action is committed, and 6) the application of the opponent. Now let’s look at each one and understand what it means.

First the nature of the action. Some negative actions are more severe than others. We briefly touched on this during our previous sessions. For example, killing is a lot more severe than idle chatter. So if you recall the ten negative actions: killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, divisive speech, hurtful speech, idle chatter, and so forth; the degree of severity among them is in descending order. Meaning killing is the most severe and idle chatter is the least severe.

The next factor in suffering is intention. For example, to kill in a violent rage is more harmful than to kill in mild anger. But then I don’t who would kill in mild anger right? If we are lying for the sake of lying or lying to hurt someone has a different response when it comes to suffering. One is a lot more severe than the other.

The method is the next factor affecting suffering. How we perform that action. For example, killing an animal swiftly has less suffering attached to it than killing sadistically applying slow and painful death.

The object is also an important factor. If one kills someone who has been kind to them versus someone who is a total stranger, it has more severe implications. Similarly, if someone repeatedly commits the same offense, it has higher consequences as compared with a one-time offense.

The last factor is the application of the opponent. This means that when one commits negative action but along with that one also performs positive actions, then the severity of suffering is reduced.

Now let’s talk about the effects of our negative actions. There are three effects; 1) the ripened effect; 2) the effects similar to the cause and 3) the environmental effect. Let’s look at each one individually.

The ripened effect of a negative action is rebirth in one of the lower realms. For example, if a living being takes rebirth in the animal realm then the ripened effect of that particular negative action has occurred and will not show up again.

The effects similar to the cause have two types; a) tendencies similar to the cause and b) experiences similar to the cause. Tendencies similar to the cause is a compulsion. For example, we know that we are prone to certain types of negative actions even when realize it is wrong but instinctively, sometimes we end up committing those. This in turn creates more negative actions and creates this vicious cycle. Essentially, this effect makes it difficult for us to avoid rebirths in lower realms in the future. We essentially have a compulsion to certain negative behavior. You may have noticed that some kids tend to kill bugs and other insects. Tendency similar to sexual misconduct is being attracted to someone else’s partner. What we have here are tendencies that make one create negative actions that in turn will ripen in future sufferings. 

Experiences similar to the cause are different for each negative action. For example, an experience similar to the cause of killing is a short life full of sickness. By killing, we shortened another being’s life so we are experiencing ill health or shortened life as a result. Experience similar to stealing is a lack of wealth and possessions. Experience similar to sexual misconduct is separation from friends and family. Experience similar to cause for lying is that no one trusts us; divisive speech is difficulty creating harmonious relationships, hurtful speech is people say bad things about us; idle chatter is that no one takes us seriously. Experience similar to covetousness is that our desires are not fulfilled; malice is that we are prone to fear, and holding wrong views is that we have great confusion.

The third effect of a negative action is the environmental effect. This means that it is our living environment that is affected. For example, the environmental effect of killing is poverty; stealing is we live in a barren area; sexual misconduct is we live in unsanitary conditions. The environmental effect of lying is that we live in a place where people cheat and are deceptive; divisive speech is that we live in a place that is hard and inhospitable; hurtful speech is that we live in an area with dense undergrowth that can sting our body; idle chatter is that we live in a place where crops don’t grow. The environmental effect of covetousness is that we live in a place where resources are easily destroyed; malice is that we live in a war zone; holding a wrong view is that we live in a place that lacks water and other basic necessities.

So as you can see negative actions ripen in different ways. To sum up, the worst way it can ripen is birth in lower realms such as the animal realm. Effects similar to cause give us tendencies to perform similar negative actions or provides poor life experiences. The environmental effect makes our surroundings difficult. So that concludes our discussions on negative Karma. Next week, we will begin to look at positive Karma and its effects.

Dealing w Chaos

We all have been through times when nothing seems to go our way. Everything is going in a different direction and it all feels chaotic if you will. Well, the chaos theory states that within the apparent randomness of chaotic complex systems, there are underlying patterns and interconnectedness. So that chaotic situation we find ourselves in actually may have a deeper reason behind it. I know, at the time it sure doesn’t feel like it.

Why do I bring this up? Because often when we find ourselves in a difficult situation we are not able to see the forest for the trees. We are so bogged down in our problem and granted it could be a serious problem—I am not trying to minimize the situation at all. But unless it is a life-and-death situation, it often blows over in time. Some problems take more time to resolve than others.

Here is an exercise I would like you to do within the next few days. Go back to your calendar or emails for 2021. Come up with a list of eventful reflections for each month of the year. For example, when I created my 2021 reflection, everything fit into one page. For each month there was maybe one or two things that were memorable—three at the most. When I was putting that list together, I realized going through the records that there were times I was upset about something and it felt like a really big deal at the time but it did not even make it to my list. So obviously it was not that important in the scheme of things. Once you complete this exercise you will find what is important for you—what you put the most value on. Now, as you come across difficult situations in the new year, try to remember that not everything is going to make your list for the year. So before you get all worked up about something, ask yourself, would it make your own reflection list? If the answer is no, you can just relax.

Have you noticed after all the chaos, things almost always work out? Maybe not exactly the way you wanted but not so bad that you could not carry on. If you were paying attention, you could actually learn a lot from the experience. I have developed a habit of telling myself that things always work out for the best. I may not see it that way at the time, but they do. Now, this does not mean that if you find yourself in a difficult situation you try to do the best you can. Of course, you do. Well, actually there is a value in surrendering yourself but that is a topic for another day.

Another thing is that when you are going through chaos, you begin to appreciate little things in life. You are grateful for what you have. And as we have discussed repeatedly, a gratitude attitude is essential for a happy and fulfilling life. As we all know, the human body and mind are very resilient. There were people in the Nazi concentration camps who found hope in the middle of quite possibly the gloomiest place in human history. If they found hope, our problems are nothing compared to that.

Why does chaos so chaotic? It is quite simple. It feels chaotic because we are not able to see the answer right away. You see, if the answer was right in front of us, it would not feel chaotic at all. So how do we handle this? It takes time for us to see the bigger picture in these scenarios. Once we are able to take some time and reflect on it, we will hopefully see the grand plan. And if you are stumped, ask someone else whose opinion you value. Sometimes all you need is a second set of eyes to get things into perspective. I have often found that it is a matter of change of perspective and it is no longer chaotic.

I hope this resonates with some of you. As you begin the new year, I am sure there will be times that feel chaotic. Please remember this too shall pass.

Left Brain / Right Brain

I recently read a quote that goes “Enlightenment is not about learning but it is all about unlearning”. I thought that is such a profound statement. So today, let’s try and figure out what it is that we need to unlearn to develop lasting inner peace.

My brother and I had this discussion a few years ago. We both agreed that “Bhola Ne Bhagwan Jaldi Male”. Loosely translated, simple people get to Nirvana faster. There is a lot of truth in this. If you think about it, all we are saying when someone is simple is that they are right-brain dominated. They tend to have an artistic streak but more importantly, they focus on life’s little pleasures. They are at peace with themselves most of the time. They are not out there trying to prove anything to anyone. When you are happy, inner peace naturally comes to you.

So how do we get to a point where a lot of people in the Western world lost their ability to connect with their right brain? I have a theory. I believe that from an early age, we put so much emphasis on left-brain activities for children. Our linguistics controls are in our left brain. So does the ability to do Math. The area that keeps us organized is right in the center of our left brain and of course, the logic that we put so much emphasis on also is on the left side of the brain. As a result, we as a society have put undue emphasis on the dominance of the left brain.

What we learn to be successful in daily life actually gets in the way of our inner happiness. We learn about how to be “clever”, how to out-negotiate someone, how to push buttons to get our ways, and so on. All of these things give us some degree of material success and allow us to make “progress”. However, all of these skills increase our inner chatter. This inner chatter keeps us on the toe and keeps us always on the go. Which in turn prevents us from reaching true lasting happiness.

All of us have this potential for lasting inner peace. However, these so-called life skills are like layers of dust on the nugget of happiness. The dust layers are so thick that we don’t even know what the nugget looks like anymore. This is what the quote means when we talk about enlightenment is about unlearning.

So how do we remove this dirt from our inherently peaceful nature you ask? Well, the first thing to do is recognize. Once you realize that we need to unlearn some of these, it is then a matter of getting to work in a step-by-step fashion. We can begin with keeping an eye out for our inner chatter. Our mind keeps going all the time thinking of all kinds of things. It plays and replays things that happened in the past. It makes up stories about what may happen in the future. I recently read the book “My Stroke of Insight” by Dr. Jill Taylor. This is an interesting story. Dr. Taylor is a neuroanatomist. I didn’t know the word until I read the book quite frankly. Essentially, she studies brain-behavior for a living. At the age of 37, she had a devastating stroke. He left-brain hemorrhaged and as a result, she could not read, write, speak, hear, see for a long time. It took her eight years to recover believe it or not. In her book, Dr. Taylor says something interesting. She says our inner chatter has very little basis in fact. It makes up all the stories based on the previous history that is most convenient at the time.

My question to you is if our inner chatter is all made up, why are we listening to it anyway. Do me a favor, keep an eye out for where your inner chatter takes you for the next day or so. You will realize that it mostly wants to take you on a ride that is not useful anyway. So when you do catch yourself with this inner chat, bring yourself back. Just think about a happy incident that happened recently. Or, listen to music or start doing some arts and crafts. Point is, bring yourself to the present moment. Every week, when we meditate we talk about how the present moment is peaceful and how that allows us to have the next peaceful moment and so on. So if we are aware of our inner chat, it will allow us to bring ourselves back to the present moment. I hope this makes sense and we all start paying attention to the right side of our brain just a little more than we have been.

Quiet Time

Have you ever had a feeling that you are just on the go all the time? There is always something to do or someone to entertain! I know a number of people who enjoy this fast pace life. But it is good to give yourself a timeout every now and then and recharge yourself. So today, let’s discuss enjoying quiet time on your own.

First, let’s look at why quiet time is important in our lives. A quiet time allows us to self-reflect. It actually may lead to daydreaming. When we are in a quiet zone, our mind tends to focus on what matters most in our lives. I do want to caution you though. If you are not used to quiet time, at first, it would seem like the mind wants to go everywhere but eventually, it will settle down. As we get accustomed to quiet time, we will become mindful and see the advantages of being in the present moment.

Staying quiet also has physical benefits it seems. A 2006 NIH study (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1860846/) shows that staying quiet for 2 minutes significantly reduces heart rate and blood pressure. The opposite is also true and a noisy environment increases blood pressure and heart rate.

Some people have difficulty staying silent. Fear of missing out has a lot to do with this. A lot of people in our society need external stimuli such as social media and personal devices to keep themselves busy. If you think about it, they are trying to avoid their inner thoughts and feelings. Have you noticed that young adults tend to get bored easily? They just don’t know how to be with themselves. I often say that if you enjoy your company, you will never be bored! Another advantage of being quiet is that it allows us to make sense of it all. All the chaos that may be happening around us all of a sudden makes sense. We can see the bigger picture if you will. Here is interesting research I found. Boredom leads to creativity. According to John Eastwood of the Boredom Lab at York University in Canada (I am as surprised as you are that there is such a thing as Boredom Lab!), two key things are happening in the mind when we are bored. The first thing is they have a desire to do something. The other is that there is access to mental capacity that is available. A combination of these things leads to creative ideas.

So how do we stay quiet you might ask. There are a number of ways to practice staying still. Here are just a few of them. The easiest thing you can do is stay in the bed a little longer. Pick a weekend day and just don’t get out of bed for a few hours! Another approach is to seat after your meal at your dining table. My wife excels at this! She would just seat quietly for an hour after her meal. That is her own time. Another approach is to try to challenge yourself to stay silent for a certain amount of time. We used to play this game when kids were growing up. Whoever can stay silent the most wins the game. This is such a relief as a parent I tell you. Kids get to play the game and you enjoy a little peace and quiet! Yet another way is to go for a swim or a hike without your phone. That is going to be some quality quiet time.

A Harvard Business Review article from 2017 notes that quite time “increases your chances of encountering novel ideas and information and discerning weak signals.” When we’re constantly fixated on the verbal agenda—what to say next, what to write next, what to tweet next—it’s tough to make room for truly different perspectives or radically new ideas. It’s hard to drop into deeper modes of listening and attention. And it’s in those deeper modes of attention that truly novel ideas are found.

So here is an interesting idea. Some people think the craving for silent time is somehow cheating the system or not taking care of your responsibility. That cannot be further from the truth. We all need that alone time. That is the time where we can take care of our mental needs. Our mind needs that rest.

I hope this gives you something to think about and make quiet time part of your daily routine. If you have young children, I strongly encourage you to teach of how to be quiet. It is difficult but well worth the effort for their own future well-being.