Tag: peace

Virtuous Minds

I hope you are enjoying our series on How To Understand The Mind. We have been discussing different mental factors for the past few sessions. Today, let’s talk about virtuous state of mind. There are eleven virtuous states of mind that are naturally virtual. Just like sugar is naturally sweet, these minds are naturally virtuous. The eleven virtuous states of mind are: 1) Faith; 2) Sense of Shame; 3) Consideration for Others; 4) Non-attachment; 5) Non-hatred; 6) Non-ignorance; 7) Effort; 8) Mental Suppleness; 9) Conscientiousness; 10) Equanimity; 11) Non-harmfulness.

Let’s start with faith. Faith is a mental factor that exists to eliminate non-faith. So, in order to understand faith, let’s understand non-faith. There are three types of non-faith. Non-faith of disbelief, non-faith of non-admiration, and non-faith of not-wishing. Non-faith of disbelief if not believing any correct object in which it is necessary to believe to make spiritual progress. What does that mean? Let’s say you want to meditate. If you do not believe that it will help you calm your mind or give you mental peace however short, it will never work. Because without belief we will not put an effort and without effort nothing ever works as we all know. Non-faith of non-admiration causes us to see faults in spiritual teachers or gurus. A few years ago, I made a practice of not criticizing any spiritual teachers whether I follow them or not. Because even if I do not follow that person, they are guiding other people through their spiritual journey and who am I to criticize that? Non-faith of not-wishing is a mind that does not desire to make spiritual progress. Of all the non-faith, this in my opinion is the worst because it prevents you from practicing spirituality. Faith overcomes all these non-faiths.

You will realize that the function of faith is to induce virtuous aspirations. Without faith in a particular practice, we will not wish to engage in it. And as we discussed last week, without wish, we will not put any effort into it. And without effort, we are not going to be able to achieve any results. Faith is not just necessary for our spiritual practice; it is also necessary for our daily life. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine is suffering some physical pain. He went to several doctors and has been suffering from this condition for more than year. I asked him why he did not get surgery yet and he said I just don’t trust my doctor. You see, without faith in his doctor, he will not commit to surgery and without that he will not get better. Faith removes hesitation. It is also a source of attainment of happiness. How you ask? Well, faith is the source of all virtuous karma and virtuous karma are the source of our happiness. Faith also helps us eliminate pride, which is the source of many of our problems. It is faith which ultimately leads us to liberation and enlightenment.

There are three types of faith. Believing faith; Admiring faith; and Wishing faith. Believing faith is belief in any object that is conducive to our spiritual progress. Admiring faith arises when we contemplate good qualities of virtuous objects or holy beings. Wishing faith is a wish to follow spiritual path based on recognition of its good qualities.

The next virtuous state of mind is Sense of Shame. It prevents us from committing negative or inappropriate actions because it is not suitable for us. For example, if a mosquito is bothering us, instead of killing it if we think that killing this mosquito is not right, that motivation is sense of shame.  Sense of shame serves as foundation for moral discipline. Sense of shame prevents us from committing negative karma by appealing to our conscience. One thing to point out is that sense of shame prevents us from negative karma mostly for consideration for ourselves.

The next virtuous state of mind is Consideration for Others. This state of mind helps us avoid inappropriate actions out of consideration for others. Some examples may be avoid saying something unpleasant because it will upset someone else. Or not going fishing because it hurts fish. We have so many desires and some of them will harm others so before we do something, we should think about if it will harm other living beings. Together with Sense of Shame, Consideration of Others acts as foundation for our moral discipline. Without these two states of mind, our daily behavior will be negative.

The next virtuous state of mind is non-attachment. It is the direct opponent of attachment. As we have discussed in the past, attachment is one of the three poisons that keep us in samsara. We cannot attain liberation while staying attached to samsara. If we have attachment, we are controlled by our circumstances. Think about it. If a pleasurable object shows up, we automatically develop attachment. Avoiding all pleasurable objects is not the answer. Otherwise, we will avoid, food we like, clothes we wear, friends we hang out with and so on. That is not the idea. Idea is to develop a mind of non-attachment by recognizing the faults of attachment.

The next virtuous state of mind is non-hatred. Non-hatred is a direct opponent of hatred. Hatred is same as anger in this scenario. The great Indian yogi Shantideva said that there is no evil greater than anger. It has the power to destroy all the merits we have accumulated in the past. Unless we practice non-hatred, we will not be able to deal with anger, and unless we pacify our anger, we will not find inner peace. When we are angry, we cannot enjoy life. Depending on level of our anger, sometimes, it manifests in physical symptoms. Anger even disturbs our sleep. Unless we have Dharma exposure, we will blame our enemies for all our problems instead of our own delusions and past karma. That will lead to thought of harming them and it will create more negative karma. If we see our hatred coming up, we should try to practice non-hatred by thinking it is not appropriate for me to hate this person as it will only create more negative karma and will harm me in future. This way of thinking will stop the hatred train in its tracks before it takes off. Non-hatred overcomes irritation and frustration and allows us to respond to a situation in calm and positive manner. When we practice non-hatred, we have no enemies.

OK, so we will continue this discussion next week with the remaining virtuous states of mind.

Guiding Mental Factors

We have been talking about our mind for the last few sessions. We looked at three types of minds and then we dived into mental factors that identify the object. Today, let’s continue down this rabbit hole if you will and discuss mental factors that guide us to an object.

There are five mental factors in this category, aspiration, firm apprehension, mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom. Let’s look at each one.

Aspiration is a mental factor that takes an interest in an object. We are all here for meditation tonight. If you did not have an aspiration to calm your mind or make progress on your spiritual journey, you would not be here. The main function of aspiration is to induce effort. Think about it. If we don’t have a wish to meditate, we would not put an effort to be here. You could have a million excuses, its Diwali time, or it’s dinner time, or whatever. But you have a wish to meditate and that is why you made an effort to be here.

There are four types of aspirations. Wishing to meet an object, wishing not to be separated from an object, wishing to obtain an object and wishing to be released from an object. Let’s take an example. Your kids are coming home for holidays. You wish to meet them. That is wishing to meet an object. You don’t want them to leave. That is wishing not to be separated from an object. You want to get a promotion, or make a lot of money, that is wishing to obtain an object. You want to remove your self-cherishing mind that is wishing to be released from an object. Depending upon our motivation each one of them could be virtuous, non-virtuous, or neutral. Wishing to steal would be an example of non-virtuous aspiration as opposed to wishing to meditate would be a virtuous aspiration.

Next let’s look at firm apprehension. It is a mental factor that allows our primary mind to apprehend the object firmly. It is also a foundation for mindfulness and concentration. You see, unless we understand an object clearly, we will not be able to keep our mind on it for long. Take this topic for example. These teachings come from a book called “How To Understand The Mind.”  When I first read this book, I would put it down after a couple of pages. It was too complex. Then, I started to break it down in relatable examples and that helped me continue to read the book in a way that I could explain it to someone else. Without firm apprehension, our mind is like a leaf floating in the air. It has no direction and it cannot stay at one place for long.

Next mental factor is mindfulness. It is a mental factor that allows us not to forget an object that is realized by our primary mind. Mindfulness can only focus on an object once it is realized. If an object is not present, you cannot have mindfulness about that object. Mindfulness maintains continuum of the object by not forgetting. What does that mean? When we do our empty sky meditation for example. Once we realize that our mind has this empty sky like nature and we keep our focus on the clarity of our mind, mindfulness helps us keep it there. We will continue to observe the clarity of our mind without distractions. If our primary mind lacks mindfulness, it will forget the object. The function of mindfulness is to prevent distractions. The more stable our mindfulness, fewer distracting thoughts we will have. We need to make continuous efforts to improve our mindfulness.

The next mental factor is concentration. Concentration helps us keep our primary mind on the object single-pointedly. It can develop only when an object is held firmly by mindfulness. There are three types of concentration. When we are meditating, we have virtuous concentration. When we are driving, we have neutral concentration. And when we are thinking about our enemies, we have non-virtuous concentration. Concentration is very important for our spiritual progress. Listening to teachings, reciting mantras, contemplating teachings, meditating, all are only effective when we have a mind that is concentrating. Buddha said that prayers, mantras, spiritual readings are of no use if the mind is distracted elsewhere. The main function of virtuous concentration is to make our mind peaceful. When our mind is free from distractions, it becomes calm and peaceful. When our mind is peaceful and happy, craving for external pleasure declines and we become content. Pure concentration also helps our body and mind become comfortable.

The next mental factor is wisdom. It is a virtuous, intelligent mind that makes primary mind realize meaningful object. What are these meaningful objects you may ask? They are also known as universal truths. Some of the meaningful objects are cycle of life and birth, existence of past and future lives, laws of karma, and emptiness. There is a monumental difference between intelligence and wisdom that I want to bring out here. An intelligent person is not necessarily a wise person. Let’s take an example. Scientists who develop weapons of war are intelligent but I am sure we can question their wisdom in doing so. Or wolves on wall street who pray on investors are certainly intelligent but you would not call them wise. Function of wisdom is to eliminate doubts and misunderstandings and to dispel ignorance. If we understand the benefits of wisdom, we will strive to achieve it. Opponent of wisdom is ignorance. Nothing harms us more than ignorance. Ignorance makes us create negative karma. Wisdom can arise from listening or reading spiritual teachings; it can arise from contemplating on those teachings; and it can arise from meditating on those teachings.

As you can see our mind is a fascinating subject and hopefully, we are peeling the layers to understand how it functions.

Enemy of My Enemy

I attended a meditation retreat over the weekend. During the retreat, the teacher mentioned something that got me thinking. He said we often think that people are our enemy. However, our real enemy is our delusions. So if our real enemy is our delusions and other people’s real enemy is delusions as well then other people are our friends since we have the same enemy. Let’s dig in.

Often we consider other people as our real enemies. Someone who cut us off in traffic for example. This is how road rage starts. Someone cuts us off intentionally or otherwise. All of a sudden, we are all riled up. Some people even chase the other car putting themselves and everyone around them in danger. All because they perceive the other driver as their enemy. Funny thing is that the other driver may not even realize that they cut us off and may be just driving without giving it a thought. Now, we have given rent-free space to that driver in our head. We get angry and in that state of anger, we make decisions that are not prudent to say the least. This angry state of mind also affects our health. It increases our blood pressure, affects our heart health, affects our memory and so forth.

And this is true for all of our delusions. Whether it is anger, attachment, hatred, jealousy, and so forth, each one of our delusions affects us negatively. It affects our mental health, makes us anxious and even depressed, and all of that drama usually plays out in our heads. Shantideva an Indian scholar said and I am paraphrasing here, that we must fight our real enemy—our delusions with everything we have. We must destroy our delusions. We must not give delusions time of day if you will.

Instead, we think other people are our enemies. That driver who cut us off. Or even people who we think we love. They did not take the trash out or did not greet us properly or were upset with our behavior and so forth. But if we think about it, they all suffer from similar plight. They all have the same delusions that we are going through. It reminds me of a story about this airline passenger. There was a father and son traveling. The kid was upset and was not behaving properly. The passenger next to him got irritated and told the father that he should try and control his son. The father goes you are right and I am trying but his mom passed away recently so he is having a tough time. All of a sudden passenger felt empathy for the kid instead of anger toward him.

And this is true for anyone we think of as our enemy. They all have their own delusions they are battling with. That coworker who you think is always bothering you may have some personal issues they are going through. Because we put our comfort and our needs first, often we don’t even try to think about what may be going on in someone else’s life. This putting ourselves first is what we refer to as Self-Cherishing. Since beginningless time, we have been conditioned to think about our needs and our comfort ahead of everyone else’s. As a result, anytime someone gives us the slightest discomfort real or perceived—often it is perceived—but that is a topic for another day, we tend to regard them as our enemy. Look at our social fabric. If someone disagrees with our point of view, they are our enemy. We can’t even have a civilized conversation about our political views anymore. If we take time to put our self-cherishing aside, we will realize that everyone else is in the same boat. They all have the same delusions that we are fighting.

And if all of us have the same delusions, the same enemy if you will, then does it not make sense to think wait, they are my friends? We are all battling the same enemy here. Why don’t we team up? So empathy towards them. Realize they are not our enemies. The real enemy is within us—our delusions. If we put all our efforts into fighting this enemy, we can make a difference. Because we all have this Buddha nature. This is pure potential. This ability to be happy and peaceful all the time without getting disturbed by external events. No person or thing can make us unhappy because as they say, agony and ecstasy are within us. What happens out there should not be able to disturb what happens within us. What happens in here is entirely up to us. If we realize that, we will no longer take on the world as our enemy and resulting peace will help us become more happy, peaceful, joyful, and otherwise nicer human beings.

The 16 Breath Meditation

Today I want to talk about what is known as 16 breath meditation. Buddha taught this meditation in his early days and they say if you follow it, that has all the ingredients to be liberated. It is also known as Full Awareness of Breathing meditation. It allows one to generate mindfulness and develop awakening.

Here is how we practice this:

The First Breath: Breathing in a long breath, I know I am breathing in a long breath, breathing out, I know I am breathing out a long breath.

The Second Breath: Breathing in a short breath, I know I am breathing in a short breath, breathing out, I know I am breathing out a short breath.

Explanation: These two breaths remove forgetfulness and unnecessary thinking. This generates mindfulness and allows us to be in the present moment.

The Third Breath: Breathing in, I am aware of my whole body. Breathing out, I am aware of my whole body.

Explanation: This breath puts us in touch with our body making us aware of every part of our body.

The Fourth Breath: I am breathing in and making my whole body calm and at peace. I am breathing out and making my whole body calm and at peace.

Explanation: This breath allows us to realize the calmness and peace in the body and puts body and mind in harmony.

The Fifth Breath: I am breathing in and feeling joyful. I am breathing out and feeling joyful.

The Sixth Breath: I am breathing in and feeling happy. I am breathing out and feeling happy.

Explanation: These two breaths create joy and peace that nourishes body and mind. Happiness and joy arise naturally within you. By being mindful, you are able to transform neutral feelings into joyful feelings.

The Seventh Breath: I am breathing in and am aware of the activities of my mind. I am breathing out and am aware of the activities of my mind.

The Eighth Breath: I am breathing in and making the activities of my mind calm and peaceful. I am breathing out and making the activities of my mind calm and peaceful.

Explanation: These two breaths allow you to look at all the feelings that arise within you whether pleasant, neutral or unpleasant. They enable you to look at these feelings deeply into their roots and nature and make your feelings calm and at peace.

The Ninth Breath: I am breathing in and am aware of my mind. I am breathing out and am aware of my mind.

The Tenth Breath: I am breathing in and making my mind happy and at peace. I am breathing out and making my mind happy and at peace.

The Eleventh Breath: I am breathing in and concentrating my mind. I am breathing out and concentrating my mind.

The Twelfth Breath: I am breathing in and liberating my mind. I am breathing out and liberating my mind.

Explanation: With these four breaths, you recognize all states of the mind—perceptions, thinking, discrimination, happiness, sadness, and doubt. It allows you to observe the activities of the mind and release obstacles of the mind.

The Thirteenth Breath: I am breathing in and observing the impermanent nature of all phenomena. I am breathing out and observing the impermanent nature of all phenomena.

The Fourteenth Breath: I am breathing in and observing the fading nature of all phenomena. I am breathing out and observing the fading nature of all phenomena.

The Fifteenth Breath: I am breathing in and concentrating on liberation. I am breathing out and concentrating on liberation.

The Sixteenth Breath: I am breathing in and focusing on letting go. I am breathing out and focusing on letting go.

Explanation: With these four breaths, we observe true nature of Dharma. First with observation of impermanent nature of phenomena, then with observation of fading nature of phenomena, then contemplating liberation and finally contemplating letting go. Hope this all makes sense and as we develop your practice, you are able to perfect this over time.

Freedom from Self Consciousness

We all tend to get self-conscious every now and then. So today, I thought we will discuss how to free ourselves from being self-conscious. Let’s begin with why do we get self-conscious?  In general, we get self-conscious because we feel people may be judging us or we are worried about how we will be perceived or we worry about upsetting others.

Self-consciousness is a mental state where we are pre-occupied with our self-image. That’s it. There is nothing more mysterious than that. Excessive self-consciousness causes us to be not present in the moment. Because we are thinking about what the other person is thinking of us or if they are judging us. So rather than being fully present in the conversation or the event, we are not participating. We are there but we are not there if you will. Our uncontrolled thoughts have taken over and we are in some distant place.

These uncontrolled thoughts are what Buddha calls delusions. A delusion is a state of mind that arises from inappropriate attention making our mind uncontrolled.

Everywhere we look, our mind is polluted by this surface of self-concern. It just alters everything we see. You know, we can’t actually see what’s going on because we’re so obsessed with ourselves. And that’s just reflected in our mind. So why is it? Why is it that we regard ourselves as so precious, but not others? I am just one person others are countless? Why are we so obsessed with it? Me? Me, me?

One major reason is we’re so familiar with thinking about ourselves, it’s a familiarity of habit.

Gesla says, Why because we’re so familiar with self-cherishing we’re very familiar with an attitude that puts ourselves first. We have been doing it since beginningless time in every life, which is why we’re still circling in suffering. Since beginningless, time we have grasped at a truly existent I this is the root of it. So a truly existent I is an I that exists from its own side.

We think there’s a real me or real I and we think everyone else is not me or either other or self or there are also other or them or you know, him or her or something like that.

Now, let’s talk about what we can do to reduce our self-consciousness in our day to day lives.

There are a number of things we can do. One of them is to stop comparing ourselves with others.

Often we find ourselves comparing ourselves with other people. Deep down all of us know that it is not worth it but we end up doing it anyway. As Teddy Roosevelt said, Comparison is the thief of joy.

To stop comparing ourselves with other people, what we need to realize is that when you are comparing yourself with someone else, you are comparing to their best version if you will. You don’t know what goes on in their life. You know what they have projected outwardly. Sometimes you only know what you see on their social media feed. Trust me, never believe what you see on social media.

If you have to compare, compare yourself to your past self. See where you were and how far you have come. This allows us to realize abundance in our life. It also allows you to realize your own strengths. This will hopefully, make you take actions that speak to your strength as opposed to someone else’s strengths.

Another way to stop yourself from comparing yourself to others is something we have talked about a lot here. We start every session with a gratitude attitude. If you are grateful for what you have and truly practice that, you will not feel the need to compare. Gratitude allows us to be joyful and joyful people tend not to compare themselves with other people.

One other way that helps in this situation is contentment. Again, we have talked about this a lot. If you are content with what you have then there is no reason for comparison. Also, remind yourself that money doesn’t buy happiness it never did and never will.

Another thing that helps with self-consciousness is developing a positive mindset.

Have you noticed that a lot of times when life gives us lemons, we tend to complain about the sourness of those lemons? A very few people are able to make lemonades out of those lemons that life throws at them.

Another helpful thing with self-consciousness is knowing that grass is not always greener on the other side.

What do I mean by that? Well, let’s look at our social media habits to begin with. We start looking at Facebook, Tik-Tok, LinkedIn and whatever else that we spend our time on half our waking hours.

People put exaggerated self of themselves on social media. I saw an interesting post on LinkedIn the other day. It says someone passed their driving test. Now, it is a simple thing and people go through that routinely in their lives. But they post it on LinkedIn something like, I want to thank my parents, my teachers, my friends, for helping me achieve this milestone in my life. I am humbled by the opportunity to perform at this exceptional level and all kind of nonsense like that. Now it is a little over the top but reality is not too far from it.

But that is reality. So don’t believe everything you see and hear. Don’t put people on pedestal based on their personas. You don’t know what goes on in people’s lives.

Another thing that helps with self-consciousness is the fact that we don’t identify with our delusions. In the book How To Transform Your Life, Gesla says that we need to stop identifying with our delusions. Gesla says delusions are distorted conceptual thoughts that arise within the mind like waves on the ocean, just as it is possible for waves to die down, so it is possible for our delusions to end.

Buddha compared our Buddha nature to a golden nugget in the dirt. No matter how disgusting a person’s delusions may be the real nature of them is undefiled like pure gold.

And it all starts with our relationship with ourselves. Our sense of self has to be based on an authentic experience. Our sense of self is based on an authentic understanding of who we are, which is based on this experience of a genuine feeling of peace, even if it’s only relative peace compared to our normal lack of peace. And on that basis, we can become a peaceful people with the potential to grow, the potential to get wiser and freer. I am not a person who hates other people, but I have empathy and love other people, delusions get in the way of me, but they’re not me. I’m a loving person. I’m a compassionate person.