Tag: mindfulness

Being Mindful

It’s been a while since we talked about mindfulness. I thought we will revisit this topic a little more in-depth today. It seems to me that so much of our life happens in autopilot mode. We seem to be reacting more than making conscious choices more often than not. Let’s first look at what is mindfulness. In the simplest terms, mindfulness is being aware of our mind from moment to moment. It means being fully present in the moment – whatever that moment happens to be.

What does it mean to be mindful you may ask? Being mindful means being aware of our experiences, our thoughts, our senses, our emotions, and so forth. You know the age-old saying stop and smell the roses? The Smelling of roses is being mindful. If you are aware of your mind, your thoughts will not control you.

And here is an interesting point. If we are mindful, we are more relaxed. I know it sounds counterintuitive but when we pay attention to our inner workings, our body tends to get into a relaxed state of being. Our mind is relaxed and overall we feel lighter.

When we are being mindful, we are in present as opposed to dwelling on the past or thinking about the future. If we think about it, all of our delusions come from either dwelling on the past or anticipating the future. When we are doing that, we are paying inappropriate attention to our uncontrolled thoughts. Mindfulness is about here and now.

Mindfulness encompasses two key ingredients: awareness and acceptance. Awareness is the knowledge and ability to focus attention on one’s inner processes and experiences, such as the experience of the present moment. Acceptance is the ability to observe and accept—rather than judge or avoid—those streams of thought.

How do we practice mindfulness? The simplest thing to do is to pay attention. I know, sounds easy right? But for sure not easy to practice. Try to get all your senses involved. Oftentimes, when we eat, for example, we hardly take the time to smell the aroma, before we being to eat. Another way to practice mindfulness is to live in the moment. Enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. So often, we are bogged down in chasing one thing or another that we hardly enjoy what is already here. As they say, enjoy the journey, not the destination.

Yet another way to practice mindfulness is to appreciate yourself. I know sounds weird but we must treat ourselves at least as well as treat our best friend. Being non-judgmental is a wonderful way to practice mindfulness. When we are not judging, we are paying attention and when we are paying attention, we are being mindful. Patience is yet another way of practicing mindfulness. Sometimes, things just take more time than we would like. It’s OK. Being curious also helps us be mindful. When we are being curious, we have this fresh energy and we are paying acute attention. We are in the present moment not thinking about the past or the future because we want to learn.

Not striving for more also helps be mindful. You are probably wondering what has that to do with mindfulness. But when we are not striving, we are not in the anticipation of future. That in turn, keeps us in the present. Letting go of the past also helps us be mindful as it prevents us from dwelling on the past. Two other ways to be mindful are my favorites. Gratitude and generosity. When we practice gratitude, we are being mindful. When we practice generosity, we are being mindful as well.

We have discussed a lot of structured ways of practicing mindfulness over the past year including focusing on our breath, M A C meditation, empty sly meditation, savasana meditation, and others.

I think most of you know that mindfulness has several benefits including, lowering stress levels, reducing harmful ruminating, and protecting against depression and anxiety. A Harvard study suggests that mindfulness can help people better cope with rejection and social isolation (https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/04/less-stress-clearer-thoughts-with-mindfulness-meditation/).

I read somewhere that I thought put it beautifully. Mindfulness is the energy that helps us recognize the conditions of happiness that are already present in our lives. You don’t have to wait ten years to experience this happiness. It is present in every moment of your daily life. There are those of us who are alive but don’t know it. What a wonderful way to express it!

I hear a lot about I am not able to concentrate or I am not able to meditate and thoughts keep coming. I want to assure you that you are making a progress. Every time you notice that your mind wanders off and you try to bring it back, you are getting better at meditation. No matter how many times you have to bring your mind back (initially, it feels like that’s all we are doing), you are making progress. I can assure you it gets easier with practice. If you develop a regular practice say 10 minutes per day, before you know it, you will be able to focus on peace within you.

Keeping Ego In Check

Over the past couple of years, we have talked about the need to diminish our ego on and off. I thought today, we dedicate an entire episode to the ego. Before we talk about keeping our ego in check, we need to figure out how to know we have an ego problem. Now some people confuse ego with self-confidence. And there is a fine line between the two. So let’s start there.

What are the telltale signs of ego being mistaken as self-confidence? There are people who will listen to your point of view but will not put that into action. When we listen to a different point of view and seriously evaluate our position to see if our position needs to be modified, that is a sign of maturity. Changing our minds does not mean we lack self-confidence. Another sign is the lack of a feedback mechanism. If we are not prepared to get feedback upon completion means that we are not prepared to improve our processes. And this means self-criticism as well. It is important to review once a task is complete and to learn from it. I truly believe that everything can be improved and if we don’t have that attitude we will keep producing mediocre results. Another sign is that people say no to any new idea as soon as they hear it before they evaluate it. Their default answer seems to be NO. When a default answer is NO, you know that ego is taking over the person.

Now, look at some other signs that tell that you have an ego problem. One sign is that you compare yourself with everyone. If you cannot enjoy someone else’s success, you have an ego problem. Another sign is that you lack gratitude. We have talked about this before that gratitude helps diminishes our ego. Another sign of people with ego problems is that they take credit for other people’s work. They will somehow insert themselves into someone else’s success and make it all about how they made this happen!  Another sign is that you are always blaming someone else when things go wrong.

Now that we have identified some of the signs of ego problems, hopefully, we will keep an eye out for some of these things flaring up in our day-to-day life. But it is not enough to identify our ego problem, we need to do something about it.

There are a number of things we can do to keep our ego in check. One way to do this is not to take anything personally. If you let whatever is said or done to you at face value without taking it personally, it helps keep your ego in control. For example, if someone says something about our work that is negative, instead of taking it personally, if you realize that they are just being negative about the process or the product and no matter who was at this end you or someone else, they would be equally negative, you help keep the ego in check. I know it takes conscious effort because the response from the ego tends to be instant and automatic. This is where our mindfulness comes in handy.

Creating gratitude practice also is very important. It helps us thank people who do the smallest of things for us. It also helps us be thankful for things in our lives. Another way to help keep the ego in check is to know that you are not the best at everything. For most things you do, there is always someone who can do it just a little bit better. If we keep that in mind, it will help us keep our egos in check.

Eckhart Tolle said something interesting. He says the way to control ego is to go to that place within you that is still. Meaning no thoughts just consciousness. In other words, meditation! He recommends this practice when someone says something that is offensive or hurts your ego, just do nothing. If you do nothing and provide no response, your ego diminishes.

One thing I think helps above all others is to be mindful. If we are mindful of what we say, what we think, we can easily identify our ego problems and keep that in check. I was one of those people who had an ego the size of Texas. Although I have made some progress, it is a constant battle. One thing we must realize is that ego is a never-ending problem. We must keep looking out for our ego to flare up constantly because it will show up just when we let our guard down! It does become easier over time for sure to identify ego flaring up on the fly. But that takes a lot of practice.

I hope this helps with your day-to-day life in keeps your ego in check.

Purifying Negative Karma

Over the past seven weeks, we discussed Karma and how it affects us all. During that discussion, a number of you asked that even if we stop creating negative Karma moving forward, how do we deal with the negative Karma we have already created in the past. I thought this was such an important point that today we want to discuss how to purify our past negative Karma.

Now, when we talk about past negative Karma, we are not only talking about this lifetime but all previous lives. By that standard, we have created enormous negative Karma. The first step in the preparation of purification is that when we are experiencing consequences of our negative Karma, in whatever form that may be in, we should realize that these consequences are due to our past negative Karma and we need to do whatever it takes to purify past negative Karma so we do not end up in this situations again and again.

Here is from the book Universal Compassion by Geshe Kelsang: Strong purification made every day over a long period of time will completely purify even the heaviest negative Karma; less powerful purification will slightly reduce our negativities, and a small amount of purification will prevent the power of the negative Karma from increasing. So any amount of effort we make is helpful.

There are four so-called opponent powers that help us purify negative Karma. They are: 1) the power of regret; 2) the power of reliance; 3) the power of the opponent force, and 4) the power of promise.

Let’s look at each one. First is the power of regret. If we understand the dangers of suffering created by negative actions, we will develop sincere regret for having committed these actions. If we contemplate that we have created enormous amounts of negative Karma over our lifetimes and we will eventually have to suffer the consequences of that. By contemplating this way, we will develop remorse for our past negative Karma. If our remorse is sincere, we will be determined to prevent future negative Karma. This remorse is what is known as the power of regret. The more regret we generate, the more powerful our purification will be.

Next is the power of reliance. Most of the objects of our negative actions are other living beings. But at the same time, we have created negative actions against objects of refuge. The objects of our refuge whatever higher authority that we may believe in. Sometimes, we talk down the object of refuge or ridicule these objects. To remove these negative actions or purify these previous negative Karma, we need to develop a reliance on objects of refuge—whatever that may mean to us. This will allow us to generate compassion towards all living beings and that in turn will purify our negative Karma.

The next is the power of the opponent force. When we have remorse for a specific negative Karma, and if we apply the opponent to that negative action (antidote of sorts); it helps us purify our negative Karma. What is the opponent force you may ask? It is actually any virtuous action performed to purify a specific negative Karma. Similar to paying a fine for a traffic violation if you will!

The next and final power is the power of promise. This is very important. In this phase, we are promising not to repeat past negative Karma. Without this promise, none of the other powers really work as well. This one power if applied effectively and regularly helps purify our negative Karma. There are types of negative Karma we can give up and promise never to commit again. There may be some negative Karma that we are not ready to give up and we can promise not to commit for a short period of time say a week or a month. We have talked about this before. If you are a fisherman, it is understandable not to promise to kill all living beings. But you can start with every living being except fish. Then later expand to no-killing fish for one day a week and so forth.

After learning all the consequences of our negative Karma, I think it is only appropriate for us to begin to apply these opponent powers to begin purifying our negative Karma. Hope this helps and you can begin your purification practice in some small way.

Positive Karma

We have been talking about Karma for the last few weeks. We discussed what Karma is, types of negative Karma, factors that influence how Karma ripens, and other topics. We will wrap up our Karma discussion in this session. Today, let’s talk about virtuous or positive Karma. There are three parts to this discussion. 1) ten virtuous Karma; 2) factors in the beneficial powers; 3) the effects of virtual Karma.

Positive Karma is a path that leads to happiness. Similar to ten negative actions, there are ten positive actions. They are essentially the opposite of ten negative actions. Each of the ten positive actions is to refrain from their respective negative action. They are abandoning killing, abandoning stealing, abandoning sexual misconduct, abandoning lying, abandoning divisive speech, abandoning hurtful speech, abandoning idle chatter, abandoning covetousness, abandoning malice, and abandoning holding wrong views.

To refrain deliberately from non-virtuous actions, having understood their danger is what is important for it to be a virtuous action. For example, when a baby does not steal does not mean that baby is practicing virtuous action because the baby does not understand the dangers of the effects of stealing. Let’s take killing as an example. Some people are able to take all living beings as their objects and try to abandon the killing of all living beings. This means insects on up. Some people say a fisherman whose job it is to catch fish may not want to do that initially. But they can take all objects except a fish and abandon the killing of those objects. They can then slowly introduce not killing a fish on weekends, at night and so forth slowly increasing these periods of time. Once we have made this decision as long as we remain mindful, our virtuous actions are being fulfilled. Just like non-virtuous actions, the more we perform a virtuous action, the more powerful it becomes.

All positive Karma also has three kinds of effects. The ripened effect, the effect similar to the cause, and the environmental effect. The ripened effect is taking birth in a higher realm such as human birth. Effects tendencies similar to virtuous actions allow us the opportunity to perform the same kind of virtuous actions over and over. As long as we don’t resist these tendencies, we will have an opportunity to add to our balance of virtuous actions. Experience similar to cause affords better living conditions. For example, an experience similar to abandoning killing is that we enjoy a long life; the experience similar to abandoning stealing is that we effortlessly accumulate wealth. Have you ever noticed some people tend to have a Midas touch and make money effortlessly in anything they try? That is an experience similar to the previous virtuous action of abandoning stealing. Experience similar to the action of abandoning sexual misconduct is that we have stable friendships and happier family life. The environmental effects of virtuous actions are opposite to the environmental effects of non-virtuous actions. It is important to point out that an environmental effect is not a quality of external conditions but the quality of the mind that experiences that. What do I mean by that? The same external conditions can be experienced as different environmental effects by different minds. For example, in a place where most people find the food good and nourishing, some people experience nausea and indigestion. Two people can take the same medicine and one of them can get an adverse side effect. So it is the individual Karma of each one of us that determines the environmental effect.

The object of virtuous action also affects the power of our actions. For example, if we give a pair of clothes to a hungry person, it counts. But, if we give them food, it is much more powerful. The motivation behind any action is also important. For example, we give something that we don’t have any need for counts. But if we give something with a wish to benefit someone is much more powerful. Actions are most powerful when they are directed toward someone who has been kind to us such as our parents. If we take a vow to take positive action, the action becomes more powerful. So if you are going to do it anyway, take a vow!

As you can see there is a lot to unpack here. Karma is a deep and profound subject. Hopefully, over the last few sessions, we have scratched the surface and all of us are beginning to think about the long-term effects of our day-to-day actions.

Karma

Continuing on our Karma series, let’s talk about the severity of negative Karma. Sometimes we feel that the response to our negative action is not proportional to the action itself. Not every negative Karma results in similar suffering. The degree of suffering depends upon the power of our actions.

This power depends upon six factors including 1) the nature of the action; 2) the intention; 3) the method; 4) the object; 5) how often the action is committed, and 6) the application of the opponent. Now let’s look at each one and understand what it means.

First the nature of the action. Some negative actions are more severe than others. We briefly touched on this during our previous sessions. For example, killing is a lot more severe than idle chatter. So if you recall the ten negative actions: killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, divisive speech, hurtful speech, idle chatter, and so forth; the degree of severity among them is in descending order. Meaning killing is the most severe and idle chatter is the least severe.

The next factor in suffering is intention. For example, to kill in a violent rage is more harmful than to kill in mild anger. But then I don’t who would kill in mild anger right? If we are lying for the sake of lying or lying to hurt someone has a different response when it comes to suffering. One is a lot more severe than the other.

The method is the next factor affecting suffering. How we perform that action. For example, killing an animal swiftly has less suffering attached to it than killing sadistically applying slow and painful death.

The object is also an important factor. If one kills someone who has been kind to them versus someone who is a total stranger, it has more severe implications. Similarly, if someone repeatedly commits the same offense, it has higher consequences as compared with a one-time offense.

The last factor is the application of the opponent. This means that when one commits negative action but along with that one also performs positive actions, then the severity of suffering is reduced.

Now let’s talk about the effects of our negative actions. There are three effects; 1) the ripened effect; 2) the effects similar to the cause and 3) the environmental effect. Let’s look at each one individually.

The ripened effect of a negative action is rebirth in one of the lower realms. For example, if a living being takes rebirth in the animal realm then the ripened effect of that particular negative action has occurred and will not show up again.

The effects similar to the cause have two types; a) tendencies similar to the cause and b) experiences similar to the cause. Tendencies similar to the cause is a compulsion. For example, we know that we are prone to certain types of negative actions even when realize it is wrong but instinctively, sometimes we end up committing those. This in turn creates more negative actions and creates this vicious cycle. Essentially, this effect makes it difficult for us to avoid rebirths in lower realms in the future. We essentially have a compulsion to certain negative behavior. You may have noticed that some kids tend to kill bugs and other insects. Tendency similar to sexual misconduct is being attracted to someone else’s partner. What we have here are tendencies that make one create negative actions that in turn will ripen in future sufferings. 

Experiences similar to the cause are different for each negative action. For example, an experience similar to the cause of killing is a short life full of sickness. By killing, we shortened another being’s life so we are experiencing ill health or shortened life as a result. Experience similar to stealing is a lack of wealth and possessions. Experience similar to sexual misconduct is separation from friends and family. Experience similar to cause for lying is that no one trusts us; divisive speech is difficulty creating harmonious relationships, hurtful speech is people say bad things about us; idle chatter is that no one takes us seriously. Experience similar to covetousness is that our desires are not fulfilled; malice is that we are prone to fear, and holding wrong views is that we have great confusion.

The third effect of a negative action is the environmental effect. This means that it is our living environment that is affected. For example, the environmental effect of killing is poverty; stealing is we live in a barren area; sexual misconduct is we live in unsanitary conditions. The environmental effect of lying is that we live in a place where people cheat and are deceptive; divisive speech is that we live in a place that is hard and inhospitable; hurtful speech is that we live in an area with dense undergrowth that can sting our body; idle chatter is that we live in a place where crops don’t grow. The environmental effect of covetousness is that we live in a place where resources are easily destroyed; malice is that we live in a war zone; holding a wrong view is that we live in a place that lacks water and other basic necessities.

So as you can see negative actions ripen in different ways. To sum up, the worst way it can ripen is birth in lower realms such as the animal realm. Effects similar to cause give us tendencies to perform similar negative actions or provides poor life experiences. The environmental effect makes our surroundings difficult. So that concludes our discussions on negative Karma. Next week, we will begin to look at positive Karma and its effects.