Today let’s talk about equanimity. There are two types of equanimity. One that is your attitude towards the situation and the other your attitude towards the phenomenon. Let’s take the second one first. In this context, equanimity means compassion without attachment. It sounds very simple but it is a profound topic. If we think about it, we normally have three different attitudes toward all beings. Attachment, hatred, or indifference. We exhibit compassion towards those who we are attached to. We have no compassion for those we hate. And we don’t care one way or another about someone we are indifferent about. For example, as we sit here there are genocide’s going on in parts of the world. We read about them in the news and have little or no compassion towards their situation. If on the other hand, someone we are attached to is going through difficulty, we show great compassion. That is great. However, oftentimes our compassion is conditional because of attachment. It may be we want them to do things a certain way or we want them to thank us or what have you. An equanimous mind is a mind that is compassionate towards all beings without attachment. So we have some compassion towards someone who is a family member as someone who we know nothing about. Currently, if two people are in trouble, we tend to help one who we are attached to but not the other. This discrimination is what we need to stop in trying to be equanimous. Developing universal compassion is not easy and can take a lifetime but we need to start somewhere. The best place to start is to try and start with removing attachment from who we are already compassionate. Give them out unconditional love. These are the people we are already attached to. After that, we begin showing compassion towards everyone we meet and expand from there. The second definition of equanimity is a mind that is steady regardless of the situation. This is a balanced mind. No matter the situation, we keep our cool. That means if a situation is tense and people are talking negativity, we don’t get angry and react accordingly. We assess the situation without emotionally getting involved and respond to the problem at hand. This also means is the situation is all positive we don’t get excited and let our egos go rampant. Even in such a situation, we remain even kill. Equanimity is protection from what is called the Eight Worldly Winds: praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute. Becoming attached to or excessively elated with success, praise, fame, or pleasure can be a setup for suffering when the winds of change shift. According to the Buddha, the way to bring about equanimity is wise attention: to be continually mindful from moment to moment, without a break, based on the intention to develop equanimity. One moment of equanimity causes a succeeding moment of equanimity to arise. Once equanimity is activated, it will be the cause for equanimity to continue and to deepen. It can bring one to deep levels of practice beyond the insight into the arising and passing away of phenomena. Ways to develop equanimity include 1) balanced mental state towards all living beings; and 2) balanced mental state towards nonliving things. Equanimity allows for the mystery of things: the unknowable, uncontrollable nature of things to be just as they are. In this acceptance lies peace and freedom—right there in the midst of whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in. When we realize that it is actually very little we can control other than our own reactions to circumstances, we learn to let go.
Tag: equanimity
How do you avoid getting angry at someone when they don’t meet your expectations?
We should all try to practice equanimity. Equanimity means compassion without attachment. If we love our family without any expectations, we will not have expectations and will not get angry. We need to learn to accept what is rather than thinking about what it could be. They say love your kids for who they are and not what you want them to be.