emptiness

Emptiness of I

We have been discussing emptiness for the past few weeks. We looked at the emptiness of phenomenon, the emptiness of body as well as the emptiness of mind. So let’s continue with this deep subject and look at the emptiness of I today.

To explore the emptiness of I, we will go looking for that inherently existing I. Before we look for anything, we must know what it is that we are looking for. If you want to find your car keys, you need to know what they look like before you can find them. Similarly, we must first know what does inherently existing I looks like before we go searching for it.

The easiest way to see what our inherently existing I, is to go back and think about a time when we were grasping for that I. Think about a time when you were proud of yourself. May be achieved something big or you were proud of your children or whatever the case may be. Think about your state of mind and your physical expressions at the time. You were really into yourself. If you visualize yourself at your proudest moment, you have found your inherently existing I. Another place to look is to think about a time you were really frightened. Let’s a wild animal was chasing you or you were scared about losing a relationship or money or whatever that may be. Again, if you can think about your state of mind at that time or your physical state (maybe you were shaking). That is your inherently existing I. You can also look at a couple of other examples such as a time when you were in a really sad state of mind. That will also have the same effect.

So once you identify what the inherently existing I looks like, now we start searching for it. Before we go on searching though, let’s agree on what possibilities are there. We can either find our inherently existing I in our body, or our mind, or a combination of body and mind, or outside of our body and mind. That’s it there is no fifth possibility. Let’s begin.

First, we need to see if we can find our inherently existing I in our body. Similar to our contemplation of the emptiness of the body, we start searching for it. Can we find our I in our limbs? The easiest way to find out is to say what if I lose my limbs? Will your inherently existing I still be there? In other words, will you still be proud or afraid or sad at the moment you were thinking of? Of course. It would not change that at all. So we know our I is not in our limbs. Now look for it in our organs. As we discussed previously, every one of our organs is transplantable. So we can have someone else’s kidney or heart or whatever and we will still be here and our I will still be proud, afraid, sad at the moment you were thinking of. So our organs are not our I. Same applies to our skin. So now that we have established that we cannot find our inherently existing I in our body; let’s look for it in our mind.

As we discussed last week, our mind is this vast awareness that is continuing from the beginningless time. It changes from moment to moment. If it was inherently existing, it would be solid as a rock if you will. It would not be changing on a moment-to-moment basis. If it was inherently existing, we would be able to find it at any given moment. But the mind changes every moment and we cannot find this unhappy mind or happy mind because it constantly changes. The same logic applies when we look at our feelings. Our feelings are as fleeting as the wind blowing on a stormy day. They keep changing from moment to moment and we cannot find the mind that contains that feeling when we go look for it. Another way to look at this is that our mind is the possessed and we are the possessor. It is our mind. For example, I am speaking into my microphone but that does not make me the microphone. So the possessor and possessed cannot be the same. So, our mind cannot be the inherently existing I.

How about body and mind combined? Well, two things that are not me cannot be me. If we go on a drive looking for a horse. We see a goat and we say that’s not a horse. We see a cow and we say that’s not a horse. We cannot put the goat and the cow together and say that’s a horse!

So now, only one possibility is left. Maybe we find our inherently existing I somewhere outside our body and mind. How absurd does that sound? Let’s go through the exercise anyway. You are seating in one place. Where would you look for your I? Is it in the other corner of the same room? Is it outside the room? Outside the house maybe? What about in some other City? Just not possible right?

As you can see, we cannot find the inherently existing I that we so strongly grasp. This grasping is what our ego is. It is the root of almost all of our delusions. We are grasping at the thing that does not exist to create problems in our lives. If we begin to let go of that grasping just little by little, life will begin to change for the better for humanity.

In today’s meditation, as always, we will start by first settling in our hearts. Once settled we will begin to contemplate the inherent existence of our I. We will first identify the object (our I that we strongly grasp). Then we will go look for it as we just talked about. Once we realize there is no inherent existing I, we will meditate on that.

Emptiness of Mind

Let’s continue with our discussions on emptiness today. In the last two sessions, we looked at the emptiness of phenomenon as well as the emptiness of the body. Let’s look at an example that may explain emptiness a little better. Growing up, I used to watch magician shows few times a year. There were these magicians who were also hypnotists that would come to town and perform magic shows. When you go to these shows, almost always they would have at least one hypnotist spell during the show. They would put the whole audience into their spell and then all of a sudden you would think that a piece of wood is a cow or something. Emptiness is just like that. We are the people in the audience. For us, the cow is as real as it comes. It exists and there is no doubt about it. We look at all phenomena just like that. We think they exist and are real. Now if you are the magician, you can see the cow but you know it does not exist at all. So that is the next level of understanding we need to cultivate. Where we can see that cow exists but it does not exist inherently. It is just an imputed existence. Now if you walked into the hall let’s say half an hour after he put his spell on the audience. You would only see that piece of wood and do not see the cow at all. That is true wisdom. We all eventually want to strive for that. Hope all of these make sense and explains the emptiness a little better.

Today, we are going to meditate on the emptiness of the mind. And before we do that, let’s look at what our mind is. We have discussed in the past, three types of mind. Gross mind the waking mind that sees everything that we see in the world. Subtle mind the mind that is active in our dream state. And very subtle mind our peaceful mind that travels from one life to the next.

One way to look at this is that our mind is like a river. It is a consciousness that is flowing from lifetime to lifetime. Have you ever been to a river to hang out? You see these water bubbles when the water touches a rock. Our life is just like that water bubble. When the water bubble bursts, what happens to the water? It just becomes part of the river that’s it. It goes and creates another bubble somewhere else.

Yet another way to look at this is soap bubbles we used to blow when we were young. Let’s say you blow a bubble and I blow a bubble. We both talk about “our” bubbles. All of a sudden the bubble bursts. Where did the bubble go? Can we call the air inside those bubbles my air and your air? Of course not.

Our very subtle mind is just like their bubbles. It is part of a consciousness that is going on from the beginningless time. Life after life without stopping.

So does the mind exist inherently? Let’s go find this inherently existing mind. We know that the mind is a continuum. When we are happy or unhappy we look at that mind as inherently existing. However, we know that our mind changes from moment to moment. If it was inherently existing, it would be solid as a rock if you will. It would not be changing on a moment-to-moment basis. If it was inherently existing, we would be able to find it at any given moment. But the mind changes every moment and we cannot find this unhappy mind or happy mind because it constantly changes. The same logic applies when we look at our feelings. Our feelings are as fleeting as the wind blowing on a stormy day. They keep changing from moment to moment and we cannot find the mind that contains that feeling when we go look for it.

Of all the emptiness teachings, I find the emptiness of the mind probably the most difficult to grasp. So don’t be discouraged if you are struggling with the concept. In time with enough contemplation and example, you will begin to understand the concept.

Emptiness of Body

We started talking about the profound subject of emptiness in the last session. We will continue with that in today’s session. Today, we are going to look at something you may find radical. Since we are talking about there being no inherent existence on its side. How about our body? Our body seems as real as anything we have ever encountered.

Let’s look at the way in which we look at our body. Most of us cling to our body strongly and have our identity tied to our body. When we think of our body, we are vividly thinking of our body and not our arms, legs, etc. We tend to imagine our body independent of parts of our body.

So let’s go and find that vividly existing body that we all identify with. For our body to exist inherently, there are only three possibilities. Our body exists as one of its parts, the collection of its parts or outside of its parts. That’s it there is no fourth possibility. So as long as we agree that there are only three possibilities in which our body can exist inherently, let’s go and find out body.

So let’s look at the first possibility. We can take a look at each of our parts independently. Let’s start with our legs. Is our leg our body? The easiest way to look at this is to think about what happens if one of our legs needs to be amputated. If we don’t have one of our legs, we will still say that the body without one of our legs is still our body. So obviously our leg is not our body. Hopefully, you are with me so far. This same logic we can apply to our arms. So in that case, we can all agree that our limbs are not our body.

Now take a look at our organs. How about our kidneys? Is the kidney our body? Our friend and fellow meditator Chirag has the first-hand experience on this. A few years ago he went through a kidney transplant. So in his body, he has his sister’s kidney. So Chirag’s body is fine without his original kidney and we still call it Chirag’s body. So we can all agree that our kidney is not our body. With that same logic, each of our organs is transplantable. If each of our organs is transplantable, then we can safely say that our organs are not the body. That leaves our skin. Science tells us that human skin cells are replaced every 28 days. So that means our skin cannot be our body.

So by now we have looked at each part of our body and concluded that we cannot find our body in its individual parts. How about the collection of these parts. I will address this with an example. We went for a Safari a few years ago. My wife really wanted to see a black rhino. We saw a lion and that we know is not a rhino. We saw an elephant and we knew that was not a rhino. We saw a cheetah and no, that is not a rhino. Now can I tell my wife that honey, I know a lion or an elephant or a cheetah in itself is not a rhino but collectively we can call it a rhino. How absurd will that sound? So my point is that a collection of things that are not the body cannot be a body. And we know that each individual part is not the body.

So how about finding this body outside of its parts. Where we even begin to look for it? In a closet? In the car? In some other City? It just does not make sense. So we can surely say that our body does not exist outside of its parts.

So we have looked at the body and could not find it in its parts, collection of its parts, or the outside of its parts. So there is not the inherently existing body. We cling to it anyway. Shantideva, a great Indian scholar once said that at dusk time, when we are walking a pile of stones may look like a human body to us. It is just like that. Because of the darkness of our ignorance, we are clinging to this body as inherently existent. If we truly search for our body in a meditation session, we will realize that it is nothing but the manifestation of the emptiness.

Now some of you may ask but I see this body clearly. Yes, you do. And that is just an imputation. It’s a body because we all decided to call it a body. That does not give it an inherent existence. Meaning it has an imputed or dependent existence.

Hope this makes a little sense. I know it is a lot to unpack. This is a little profound and may take some time to realize. But we will all get there with some examples and meditation.

We have discussed the dream-like nature of the phenomenon as well as the lack of inherent existence of the phenomenon in the past. Over the next few weeks, I want to discuss a very deep and profound subject called emptiness. Before we talk about what emptiness is, we need to make sure what it is not.

Emptiness is one of the most misunderstood concepts in spirituality. Emptiness does not mean nothingness. It does not say nothing exists at all. It says all phenomena are empty from their own side. And that is the key distinction here. From their own side means separate and independent existence. The English language defines emptiness as the feeling of loneliness but that is not emptiness at all. In Sanskrit, emptiness is called Sunyata.

Emptiness is the true nature of all phenomena. It means there is something and that something is ready to take any form that is necessary. So there is a huge difference between emptiness and nothingness. Different people grasp the concept of emptiness in different ways. So I am going to try and get an explanation in two distinct ways.

First, let’s look at the physical way of looking at emptiness. Before we take a look at this, we need to look at how space is defined. There are two types of space; producing space and nonproducing space. For example, we see there is a brick wall. If we try to go through the brick wall, we will fall down as there is no way to go through the brick wall. The brick wall is called producing space. On the other hand, space, where you can easily move through, is known as nonproducing space. So let’s look at an example. If you look at an empty room, you will there is nothing but space. Now, if we put a chair in that room, obviously a chair is occupied in the room. The chair is called the producing space. There was space where there is a chair right now. Where did space go? That space that was there before the chair was present is known as nonproducing space. The space occupied by the chair is the emptiness of that chair. Another thing to keep in mind is that the chair and the space occupied by the chair are not separate phenomena; they are one and the same. They are non-dual. This is a very important point to note that the chair and the emptiness of the chair are one and the same.

Another way to look at this is that emptiness is a way of looking at the world as it is without adding or subtracting anything from it. What does that mean? Let’s say we see a series of events through our eyes or in our heads. That normally brings some kind of feeling in us. Once that feeling surfaces, we tend to identify with that feeling and get wrapped up with our “I” about that feeling. This is what causes all the suffering. The more we get involved in it, the more it sucks us in.

Instead, if we look at those events from an emptiness lense, and not react at all but just observe, you will notice that feeling is empty of anything to identify with. This is the true meaning of emptiness. We clearly see this, we will realize that labeling or identifying everything with our “I” is the cause of our stress, anxiety, and so forth. When we drop the “I”, we are free from all the drama. I know it is easier said than done but this is one key to true happiness.

So as you can see emptiness can be looked at from different points of view. However, all of these lead to one single goal. They are targeted to get people to focus on what is important as opposed to day-to-day thoughts of anger, attachment, jealousy, hatred, and so forth. If we look at the world from an emptiness point of view, our delusions will gradually decrease and eventually be eliminated. This will allow us to operate from a happy state of mind. A happy state of mind brings inner peace allowing us to be aware. An aware mind is a perceptive mind and as we discussed in the past function of the mind is to perceive. Imagine what we can achieve if our perception is crystal clear.

I know there is a lot to unpack here. I am hoping to continue this series for the next few weeks and have an extended Q&A session at the end similar to what we did after the Karma series.