Live Free or Die!

Live Free or Die! Have you heard that slogan for the US State of New Hampshire? People in New Hampshire are independent-minded have this libertarian streak if you will. They don’t want too much interference from the government in their lives. If you think about it, most of us want to live free. We want to be able to make our own decisions and do what we think is best for us.

But are we really living freely? Most times, we are tied to the so-called eight worldly winds: Pleasure & Pain, Gain & Loss, Praise & Blame, Fame & Disrepute. Think about it, almost every decision that we make is either to avoid the negative winds or to attract the positive winds. Let’s take pleasure and pain for example. We all want pleasure from any activity that we engage in. What we don’t realize is that pleasure is transitory. When the winds shift, pain replaces pleasure. What gives pleasure at the moment may inflict pain at some other time. I have often talked about the pizza example that is so appropriate here. Say you love pizza. Eating pizza gives you pleasure. But if you keep eating that pizza beyond your capacity, you will eventually throw up. The same pizza that brought pleasure can inflict pain. It is certainly not the pizza that gives us pleasure. Sadhguru always says that “pain and pleasure are within us”. It is so true. What does that mean you may ask? It means that the experience of pleasure and pain comes from our minds. It is our mind that interprets something to be pleasurable or painful. Pizza itself from its own side is neither pleasurable nor painful.

Let’s talk about the next set of worldly winds: gain and loss. If we get elated by gains, we will be hurt as much by the losses. As we all know, it is a cyclical world. What goes up must come down and if we are too excited when we are going up we will be really in pain when it comes down. My dad always says to remember there is always Sunday after Saturday. What does that mean? It means, not all days are going to be as comfortable as you are enjoying right now. Just be mindful and not get overly excited when things are going your way.

The next set of worldly winds are praise and blame. We all like when people praise us or our work. But with praise, we should be prepared for criticism also. If we are all pumped up when someone praises us, we will be equally disappointed when someone criticizes our work. It is natural to think that not everyone is going to praise us or our work. It is just not possible. Let’s make sure we stay even kill when praise comes our way and that will help us stay even kill when the blame is assigned to us.

The last set of worldly winds are fame and disrepute. Everyone wants to be famous in this social media culture of ours. We live by likes and dislikes on social media. But if the fame puts on top then we must be prepared for disrepute that may show up someday. In the age of social media, that is very easy, unfortunately. Remember that saying that goes the higher you climb, the deeper you drop? If the fame brings you on top of your world, the disrepute will drop you to the bottom.

Why do I talk about all this? This ties back to the equanimity discussion we had in the past. When the worldly winds of pleasure, gain, fame and praise are blowing our ways; we need to learn to be equanimous and not let that boost our ego too much. That will prevent us from falling hard when the winds shift towards pain, loss, disrepute, and blame. That is what is most important. If we can do that, we will be truly living free and not be slaves to worldly winds.

Reliance

Let’s talk about something called Reliance today. We come across a lot of people and information all day long. What should we rely upon to make our decisions? Let’s get into it.

The first so-called reliance is the phrase I am sure you have heard over and over again. Don’t kill the messenger. It is so true. We often get bog down into who brings the message rather than the message itself. Who brings the message has absolutely nothing to do with what the message is. We must rely on the message and not the messenger. I have seen this playing out in the corporate environment quite a bit. There are certain people who are resistant to an incoming CEO and whatever they say, for some reason is wrong because this person is an outsider if you will. In doing so they miss out on opportunities to work together as an organization and make forward progress towards pressing issues of the day. You see we all have these inherent biases against certain individuals or groups of people. Because of those biases, we tend to focus on the messenger as opposed to the message itself. This wrong reliance is detrimental to our own progress.

The next reliance is on the meaning. Rely on the meaning and not the words. This is a little difficult to understand so let’s break this down. Sometimes what the words are trying to tell you is hidden. What we call reading between the lines. What is not said out loud is more important than just the words. One can play with the words but what they are trying to tell us behind those words is more important. This is not an easy skill to develop for sure. This is where perception comes into play. Developing good perception is very important and for that, we need a clear mind. We must learn to develop perception. It takes a lifetime to develop this. Most people in my experience have difficulty reading between the lines. So hopefully all of you youngsters would learn to develop this. One way to develop this is to take in a diverse set of information. If you read or listen to all sides of an argument, you would be better able to develop perception. Unfortunately, we live in this conformation bias age where everyone has a limited number of sources of information and they all just confirm our inherent biases. The social media algorithms also contribute to this problem since they tend to display what you like and have no opposing viewpoint.

The next reliance is intention. This is very important. What we should rely upon is the intention of the speaker and not our own interpretation of what they are trying to tell us.

When we understand what it is the speaker intended to communicate, if we then continue to think about each word and expression, we will grasp the concept much faster. This is similar to getting conceptual knowledge before looking for a detailed understanding.

If we misinterpret what is said and then think of more words, we’ll never stop till we run out of thoughts, but all the while we’re only straying further and further from the meaning. Like children playing, we’ll only end up exhausted.

Even for a single word like “and” or “but”, when taken out of context, there’s no end to what it might mean. Yet if we understand what is meant, then with that the need for the word is finished. Remember the classic, it depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is? Sorry, I could not resist!

When it comes to the meaning, we should know what is provisional and what is definitive, and rely not on any provisional meaning, but only on the meaning that is true definitively. I refer to the example of Yudhisthir confirming that Ashwathama was indeed dead in the epic battle of Mahabharat. Here, Yudhisthir meant Ashwathama the elephant and not the warrior but people took his words literally on their own peril.

Motivation

If you are like most people, you are not able to maintain your meditation practice on a daily basis. Why is that? For the most part, motivation or lack of it has a lot to do with it. I am sure you think there is just not enough time in the day. But with motivation, time would never be an issue. So let’s talk about motivation in detail today.

It is one thing to discuss the motivation for meditation but motivation is necessary for everything you want to do in life. How do you develop motivation? I read something interesting the other day and it really caught my eyes. When you set out to do something whatever that may be, have you noticed at times you are all ready to go and jump right into it until the task is complete? Other times, those things just stay on your task list and you keep postponing the task as long as you possibly can. Why is that? The root cause for this is a lack of motivation.

Next time you are set out to tackle a big item, do me a favor, make a list of 25 reasons why you want to do something. You may say, why 25 reasons? Why can’t I just have one reason? You can, but in my experience, the first few reasons tend to be superficial. They are usually, what you are telling yourself or what you want people to believe. Once you start writing this down on a piece of paper, by the time you come to reasons 15, 20, and 23, the real reason comes out. Your hopes and dreams, your enthusiasm will display themselves. Once these reasons show themselves, motivation naturally comes. There is no more reason to procrastinate because now you know exactly what it is that you doing this for. So when do you get motivated? This is another interesting part. Usually, you will notice that motivation comes once you begin a process. If you look at where a task tends to have difficulty, it is usually, in the beginning, having difficulty getting off the ground and then towards the end getting it to a finish line. In between, momentum usually carries the day. So when the task begins, we need motivation and that is when the list of reasons comes in very handy. Once a task gets going and reaches the finish line, a lot of people wrap up before they get it to where they really wanted it to see. They call it good enough. This is another place you need motivation. At this time, going back to those really deep reasons—reasons 18, 22, 24 come in really handy. Once we get the boost of the motivation getting it to the best possible end is just a matter of time and process.

So now that we know how we can tackle obstacles, let’s use this to overcome our lack of daily meditation practice. If you would make a list of why you want to meditate. Again, at least have 25 reasons to meditate. Once you have developed that list, you will notice that I don’t have time or that life gets in the way or I need to take care of my family and all other superficial excuses will just melt away. In my experience, there is such not having the time it is just a lack of importance we put on whatever that we are not doing. If it is important enough, you will make time. We all have the same amount of time no one has 25 hours in a day. Let’s make sure we put importance on our own peace of mind over the business of life. This is similar to the four-quadrant we discussed a few episodes ago about urgent vs important. Let’s not get the urgency of life get in the way of the importance of keeping a peaceful mind. A peaceful mind will help us carry throughout the day. Hopefully, you will get motivated to develop motivation for your meditation practice!

Ignorance

Today we are going to look at ignorance. But wait, I am a wise person you might say! I am not ignorant. Well, let’s take a look at that really quickly.

If you think about it, all of us are afraid of something or other. Most of our fear is a direct result of ignorance. We are afraid of things or people that we don’t understand. Just because it is not in our experience we tend to stay away from it. Instead of learning about the subject and trying to get over our ignorance, we tend to fight, flight or freeze. This was a good option back in the days when we were still hunter-gatherers and needed to save our lives from the elements. But those days are over and we still have not adopted ourselves! Not your fault for sure—we can blame our genes for that. We are all afraid of terrorism, why? Because we don’t know what type of violent attack will come, where, or when. That unknown is what strikes fear. I guess, if we knew something was coming, we would prepare for that.

When I say we are all ignorant, I am not talking about your intellect. One can be intellectual and ignorant at the same time. How is that possible you might ask? Well, look at someone who is specializing in a particular field. They are formidable experts in that field and know all the nuances and intricacies. But outside of that field, they may not have basic knowledge of day-to-day life. So one could say they are intellectual and ignorant at the same time. Another way to look at this is to know that to be intellectual and to be wise are two totally different things. I know so many so-called experts whose judgment may be questionable. Hopefully, this makes some sense.

Here, I am talking about how we all lack the knowledge about the ultimate truth as to how phenomena exist. We talked about this at length in our emptiness teachings as to how all phenomena are like a dream and they are dependent existence. Some of us may have developed a theoretical acceptance of that concept but it is not certainly in our experience or in our practice.  

All phenomena have dependent existence. This means that everything that we see and experience does not have an independent inherent existence. All of that plays out in our minds as we have discussed in the past. So why is it that we are grasping so tightly? That is where our ignorance comes into play. We grasp this phenomenon like they are rock solid. But if we look back in our own lives, we realize that things are constantly changing. Think about a 12-year-old version of yourself. I am sure you were in love with that person. You held that person so tightly. You could do no wrong and you probably had an inflated opinion of yourself. Now looking back, I am sure you realize that 12-year-old self is no longer there. Who you are today is much more different from that 12-year-old person. Your thoughts have changed, your taste in life has changed, your dreams and aspirations are different, and so on. So can you see your 12-year-old self was inherently existent? If it was, it would not have changed. But it is our ignorance that was grasping that 12-year-old self. If that is the case, why are you grasping your current self? If you can intellectually realize that your 12-year-old self was not inherently existent, what makes you think your current self is? I know, it is tough to take it in but if we are intellectually honest with ourselves, we would not grasp ourselves so strongly.

If we stop grasping ourselves so strongly, we will not take ourselves so seriously and that would open up so much harmony in this world. So how do we develop that wisdom if you will? Well, let’s start by being mindful. In our daily activities let’s be mindful that things are not the way they appear. Just acknowledge that without doing anything else. If we start developing this mindfulness, our attitude towards events and phenomena will change for the better.

Hatred

If you look at all the problems we are having as well as all the problems in the world, there are typically three causes. Greed, Hatred, and Ignorance. Today we will discuss hatred and how it can destroy our lives as well as civilization.

Before we talk about hatred from a personal perspective, I want to talk about hatred in society. If you look at every war in the history of mankind, it has its root in hatred. Every terrorist attack is a result of hatred. That hatred that was towards other people or the people we did not understand has now become against each other. A lot of civil societies are on the verge of being torn apart. Politicians are pitting people against each other creating divisions. Look at Great Britain or Brazil or Argentina or India or right here at home, good old US of A. We are fighting amongst ourselves because the politicians are creating a divide that works for their short-term benefits. We have broken down society in so many little slices that no one thinks about the big picture anymore. It used to be that what’s good for the goose was good for the gander. Now every goose, every gander, every duckling needs their own island and no one wants to share.  

Media is largely to blame because without media being complicit, the politicians would not have a way to distribute this hatred. I especially, remember during Tump’s presidency here in the US—no matter your politics, there was this daily hatred spilled out by major cable networks. If he sneezed, he was spreading germs and if he did not, he was holding something up! It was insanity. But that is what gave fuel to the fire. The same story is playing out everywhere it seems.

Now that we understand societal hatred hopefully we can all think rationally without regard to what the media is spouting out. Hopefully, you recall from our Karma series that there is such as thing as collective karma. You might revisit our Karma videos as a refresher.

Now let’s look at hatred at an individual level. Where does the hatred come from? The root cause of hatred tends to be our belief that our I is inherently existent. We grasp on that I that self so more important than everything else around us. Hatred is also aversion meaning a strong dislike. We tend to dislike things that we consider different from us. We don’t think that is part of us or that we are all interconnected. So we develop aversion towards those beings. Once we separate ourselves from others, judgment comes. This is what breeds hatred. Without judgment, there is no hatred.

So how do we get rid of hatred? Just wishing or determination would not help. The antidote to hatred is loving-kindness. We covered this at length as well in one of our previous episodes. I recommend you might want to check that out. But the gist of this is that we need to develop a loving relationship with all living beings. A wish that says “I want everything for you and nothing from you.” It is that simple. If we begin to develop that wish slowly but surely hatred will disappear from our lives. Now that may not be completely possible. If that is the case, try practicing loving-kindness towards the feeling of hatred you are experiencing. In other words, accept the feeling, be comfortable with it and the hatred will disappear.

There is one other type of hatred that we all have experienced and that is self-hatred. This is one of the worst kinds of hatred if you will. It will destroy you internally. It smashes our self-confidence, brings self-doubt, frustration and we become hopeless. All we are doing is telling ourselves that we are not worthy and that we are not qualified and so on. We are exaggerating our bad qualities. But in reality, it is just a mental image or perception we have of our specific quality. There is nothing behind that mental image to support it. It is something our mind made it up. It is just a hallucination or mental projection.

So how do we solve self-hatred? The first thing we need to do is acknowledge it and realize how harmful that is to us. The next thing to realize is the fact that we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts are just passing clouds in a big blue sky. If we start examining our mind during meditation, the peacefulness that brings will tremendously help in eliminating a lot of negative thoughts. This is not a one-day exercise. It happens over time and requires consistent meditation practice to get in touch with our inner peace. Once we turn our attention inwards, we will see how wonderful it can be. This also allows us to identify with our shortcomings without identifying with ourselves. In other words, realizing that we are not our faults and our faults or shortcomings are passing and we can change those habits that we may have developed.

Hopefully, this is helpful and you can put this into practice in your daily lives.