Last week we started to talk about the four noble truths. We discussed the first noble truth. We should know suffering. We discussed how by focusing on our inner peace, we can get rid of our suffering. Today, we will talk about the second noble truth. What we should abandon. We should abandon origins. What does that mean. It means we should abandon where suffering originates. If we want to abandon suffering, it is natural that we need to abandon its origin. All suffering origin from delusions.
Right now, we have a strong attachment to the fulfillment of our own wishes. We really like things to go our way. Attachment is a fundamentally selfish mind. It’s about what I can get, me, my wishes, my desires, my wants, my needs, me, me, me. Every delusion is about me and how important I am and my needs and wishes. Me is front and center of every delusion, pervades every delusion, the sense of self.
Root of all delusions is self-grasping ignorance. It pervades all other delusions. Our attachment, our hatred, our jealousy, our anger, and all other delusions arise from our self grasping ignorance.
Now within that attachment is that state of mind that wants to be happy, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. We always want to be happy, even Buddhas want to be happy. We want happiness to come from outside of ourselves, that’s another element of, thinking that happiness comes from outside. Not understanding that happiness comes from peaceful minds, virtuous minds, positive minds, not understanding that happiness comes from love or compassion or wisdom, but thinking that happiness comes from donuts or relationships or mountains or whatever it is, thinking that happiness comes from outside and working hard to try and get it. And also think that happiness comes from the fulfillment of our wishes, everything going our way, everything we want to happen, happens. Whereas happiness, actual happiness is a pleasant feeling, a mental feeling, it’s part of our mind. And the causes are also within our mind, real causes of happiness, or within our mind, not outside our mind. So if our mind is peaceful, then we’re happy regardless of what’s going on outside us.
So self-grasping, and the reason we have all our delusions is because we have a strong sense of self at the moment. We think, me, me, me, I, I, I, self, and we think there’s kind of like a self within our body and mind controlling everything.
- I’m making everything happen.
- I’m the one who has all the desires.
- I’m the one who gets annoyed.
- I’m the one who gets happy.
- I’m the one who does this.
- I’m the one who goes there.
- Me, me, me.
I want you to go back and look at your life. Do this experiment in your spare time when you have half an hour this week. Look at all of your suffering (most of us remember when we had mental suffering in our lives at least the major ones). And see the real cause of that suffering. Now, here we cannot be superficial. We have to dig really deep. Once you dig deep, you will realize that all of that suffering came from a strong sense of I. A desire to make ourselves happy often times above all cost and at anyone else’s expense. You will also notice that the stronger the sense of I, the stronger the suffering.
Our self grasping is like a monster that lives within us and we must eliminate it, we must destroy it because that is the source of all of our suffering.
Let me tell you an interesting story. A few years ago, when I was getting a massage, my massage therapist asked me how my day was going. I casually mentioned I was dealing with some not-so-competent insurance people. Out of nowhere she said, “Do you think you are smarter than everyone else?” I said, “Most days I have this Smartest Person in The Room Syndrome.” What she said next was very profound. She said, “The universe gives you what you want. You want to be the smartest person, so it sends you people who are not as up to speed!” I thought it was a unique way to look at the world. But in essence, it was supremacy that was bringing my frustration. In the book How to Transform Your Life, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso (2017) put it wonderfully: “The moment we let go of our obsessive concern for our own welfare, our mind naturally relaxes and becomes lighter.” As you can see, it is the importance we put on ourselves that is the root of most mental disturbance.
Self-grasping ignorance also causes us to experience delusions. It is just a fancy way of saying we grasp at the self and its inherent existence. Self-grasping ignorance is also known as separation. We have created this boundary around us separating ourselves from other living beings. This is similar to thinking, my cold is worse than yours because it is happening to me! If we erase the boundaries around us, the world will be a much better place. How so? Let’s look at it. We strongly identify with the self and grasp it so tightly, believing that nothing is more important. If my boundary only includes myself then I focus on my own happiness over all else. If my boundary includes my family, then all of a sudden I am willing to make little sacrifices for the greater good of my family. Most people stop there, but if we all begin to erase boundaries between ourselves and our communities, we will all try our best to make sure everyone in our community is better off.
In other words, if we begin to identify a little less with the self and start erasing boundaries around us to include more living beings, we will begin to notice that our delusions decrease. Similarly, if we reduce our self-cherishing, then we will reduce our delusions.
During a live meditation session someone asked, “If we don’t focus on our self-cherishing, will there be any fun left in life?” The answer is that you can enjoy what life has to offer without chasing things. For example, there is joy in helping others. There are people suffering from hunger, illness, and poverty. If you choose your cause and begin to make a difference, you will not only enjoy it, but also make your life more meaningful.